I know I sound like a drama queen
Not at all!!! If one does not mourn or grief or cry or get upset when their partner for life dies, then they must be made of stone. Your lifelines are there for you because of your love and kindness towards them in the past, and I'm sure they will be there for you for as long as you need them.
Thank you, dear Pauline, it is so good to know that I have good friends here on Hive as well. Writing has helped me deal with my emotions. I don't have time for counseling etc, and find writing helps way more.
Our staff are like family, and we've always treated them as such. They are very special.