Even though I have been a student of human nature, psychology, and the overall human experience since I was quite young, there remain certain aspects of this whole gig on which I would definitely give myself about a "D-minus" grade.
By which I mean that there are certain things people choose to do that I simply can't fathom.
That's not to say that I'm denying that they exist… I observe them, I realize that they happen, but I still not I'm able to get to the root of why people make these choices.
European wagtail
Invariably, I end up with "Mental Illness" as the only possible option that makes at least a little sense, and that concerns me from the perspective of seeming both a little judgmental as well as worrisome... due to the sheer number of individuals it could be applied to.
The Desire to Succeed!
I like succeeding as much as the next person, and I'm definitely willing to work fairly hard to achieve what I feel is a measure of success according to my own scale and metrics.
I might set myself a goal or ambition like writing a minimum of five blog posts a week, or losing a certain amount of weight, or reaching 20,000 HP by year end. I might even share these goals with others… or I'll just keep them to myself compare where I actually am to where I hope to be.
Where I start to get lost is when I encounter those people who'll go to almost any length to succeed.
Again I understand the whole concept of "being driven," and being an aggressive "Alpha type" personality, and being almost obsessive about reaching your goals. I also understand the idea of having a singular focus that drives you towards always wanting to be #1. That's awesome! It's how we end up with Olympic champions and league winners and all that good stuff.
What I really do not understand is a particular behavior pattern that involves achieving such success at the expense of others and — when taken to extremes — even becomes dependent on actively causing the failure of others as a means to accomplish your own success.
That is, deliberately sabotaging other individuals or organizations to further your own cause.
We see it happen somewhat publicly in openly competitive fields like sports and games, somewhat less publicly in the world of corporations, inventions and politics.
Red clover
Bullying... and Ideas Without Merit
Seriously? If whatever you are doing isn't capable of succeeding on its own merit why are you even involved, in the first place?
Moreover, if the idea or initiative or project isn't succeeding on its own merit, has it ever entered your mind that it actually might not be a very good idea, to begin with?
Welcome to Grade School!
Maybe I'm missing the point here but when I poke below the surface the whole thing has a certain subtext of the same behaviors I used to see, perhaps when we were in grade school or junior high.
It might be summarized as having an emotional meltdown and temper tantrum because we can't have things our way and so we go about destroying whatever is being done by those we perceive to stand in the way of us having things our way rather than simply adjusting our own way to where it becomes better and more desirable... so people DO want it!
Of course I'm probably being overly judgmental here, but it feels a lot like a form of toxic narcissism or even psychopathy since it is based on DE-struction rather than CON-struction.
Some might argue that I wasn't beaten enough as a child to have such an attitude. But I have been planned down in the dumps plenty, yet never saw the need to engage in destructive behavior towards those who may — or may not — have directly (or indirectly) been the cause of my ending up down in the dumps.
It all seems to come back to the same simple question that has plagued me since the beginning of this line of inquiry: If "Person A" is succeeding over here, why is it even important to them, and why does it even matter to them, that when *"Person B" is doing something similar they must be made to fail... why can't they just be left alone?
Life is hard enough without people tearing each other down... someone else's success doesn't minimize your success.
As the old truism goes: "Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make YOURS burn any brighter!"
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your Father's Day weekend!
What do YOU think? Does competition and the need to succeed turn toxic for some people? Do some people become psychopathic in their pursuit of THEIR WAY? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20220619 15:56 PDT
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