If You’re Always Waiting for a Goal, You’ll Never Reach It!

I remember a very long time ago being at a self development retreat, in which the conversation turned to the whole idea of seeking enlightenment.

The workshop presenter rather wisely pointed out that as long as you're seeking something you're openly confessing that you don't have it. In the case of this particular workshop we were talking about enlightenment, but you could just as well substitute in concepts such as happiness, inner peace, success, or anything else you choose.

If you're looking for something, it must be because you don't have it, right? You wouldn't be looking for your wallet, if you actually had your wallet, right?

Lately I've been contemplating this particular dilemma and thinking about it further in the context of how we're always striving for something. There's a risk associated with always striving for something which is that whatever you're striving for is always going to be somewhere out in the future rather than now, as a result of which you run the risk of never being able to simply enjoy now.

Some might dismiss such a thought as "New Age mumbo jumbo," but think about it for a moment. We make an awful lot of things in our lives contingent on something happening or us having something sometime out in the future.

I will be happy when I have this new car. I will be happy when I'm married. I can relax when I have $5,000,000. I can learn to paint when I retire.

The sad truth is that — whether we reach those particular goals or not — we end up subjecting ourselves to a constant state of stress and tension that prevents us from fully being present right now. For example, this was a really brilliant dinner or truly enjoying the moment in which you perhaps write a really good article, or some flowers in your garden are particularly beautiful.

Now you might be saying "oh, I take plenty of time to be grateful and appreciate things!" But do you really?

I know for myself that there's always a little bit of my mind that is focused somewhere else on something I need to get done, even when I'm having an enjoyable time with something. It takes conscious effort to actually be present where we are and not have our mind wander elsewhere to the future.

Have you ever found yourself thinking "I'm really enjoying this dinner with my family, but I really need to get back to work?"

I'm not saying that as an accusatory statement, merely as an observation because it's something that many of us experience.

Why do you have to get back to work? Well, because you need to get things done, and because you need to make more money, and there's often a long laundry list of contingencies if this happens and that happens and a third thing in the fourth thing only then…. This is where we can fill in our own blanks.

Experience has taught me that if you have too many contingencies in your life — that is, you are saying that if some condition is met then some state will be possible — then you're unlikely to reach any of them. At which point we might ask: "why is it not possible right NOW?"

Interestingly enough, Hive has been a good learning experience in that sense. What I mean by that is I have gone away from thinking too much along the lines of "when I have some amount of Hive Power I will consider myself successful on Hive" to simply thinking that it is a success and to be enjoyed every time I complete a post.

And even if I don't ever publish another post the fact that I published this post was its own measure of success, and a cause for happiness.

Some years ago I read a (by now fairly well known) book called "Living without a Goal" Jim Ogilvy.

The point of the book wasn't so much that we shouldn't make goals for ourselves, as the fact that if we get too tied up in our goals we tend to "box ourselves in" and no longer be open to unexpected possibilities that come our way because our eyes only on the goal.

It has definitely been somewhat of a transition, but I have become more aware of simply having the goal of "living well, right now."

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great Holiday week!

Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!

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Created at 2024.12.24 00:55 PST
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