PIECE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

The recent and quite unfortunate news of the death of a woman -a gospel artist - caused by domestic abuse from her husband which had even been happening over a long period of time has brought out outrages in the social media space. The space has witnessed the brute and different views from its different users on the incident. Well, same here I was not happy when I first heard the news. Because I knew that popular song she sang but never knew her though, not until now.
But for fairness sake, I will try as much as possible to balance things out at least.

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The context in which the word "abuse" is used here refers to what is called Domestic Abuse. According to Wikipedia, Domestic violence (also called domestic abuse or family violence) is violence or other abuse that occurs in a domestic setting, such as in a marriage or cohabitation.

Now, we ask why (some of) the victims find it difficult to walk away or speak up. Actually, there are lots of underlying factors and at times, the issue of an incomplete storyline can make one just not judge things too quickly.

Well, I hope you are thinking that I was gonna give a religious advice about one god telling her to stay beaten up, No! Even our (or the) older parents or people we are emulating, when issues like this were becoming too much, some of them had to leave for a while or completely but didn't divorce. While some partners came together, some never did! Maybe they would sort it out at the feet of their supreme being. Or you know, Nigerian karma still exists...let's leave that!

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Now, I saw that some well-wishers who are maybe a fan of the late mama gathered to pray. For what? I am stil finding out. But I hope it is not for the woman because now those prayers would just amount to nothing. Except if it would be for her children or something else. Also, I noted that among those present were those who knew she has always been abused by her husband and most of them did nothing, publicly though, to speak out. Because I still think they could have used their influence to bring things back on the right track.

Also, I see people say that she should have left and all that - I love @monioluwa's view on this which he detailed in his post - MY VIEW ON DOMESTIC ABUSE: THE ROLE WE ALL PLAY. He stressed that the society hampers people from speaking out. Yes, I agree. I f she had left at some point, some set of people would say: Oh she could not manage and salvage her home.. At times, I feel if we really know what we are doing, we should not give a sh*t of what people are gonna say to you. I addressed a little of this above.

Let me try and move a little away from this woman, make she rest.. to some youthful relationships, not marriage, where the lady is being domestically abused and all sorts are done to her. The cause here could be that most, if not all, of these ladies in those relationships have nothing of their own. They depend 100% on the money, attention, praises etc. showered on them by their so-called partners in order for them to live as human. Hence, why they are taken advantage of ....AND they still remain there saying, "..and you do not know him ni o". This also makes me a little reserved because the deceased woman in question was not one who would be financially down, so why didnt she leave? A thousand and one reasons fills the air.

But really I need to stretch this that any abuse is not just something that happens to the females alone. It is everywhere ranging from homes to workplace. We have psychological, emotional, sexual etc. kinds of abuse. And to everybody including guys. You know, some of the people who dey abuse their partners were witness to their parents/guardians doing the same too and it stuck as being normal. At times, I think it may not be a good idea to entirely leave your children with adults, those ones you call big uncles or big aunties... From time to time, question your child about their activities at those adults' place and just be on the watch!

Very well, people are being told to speak on domestic abuse now and as they come out to reveal themselves, I seriously hope the society do not come back hypocritically at them but still go on with this energy to get to the root of this menace.