LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT

in Speak Peace3 years ago (edited)

Domestic abuse is a topic that has always been a trigger for me because I have experienced it’s effects first hand. When I was growing up we lost my mothers younger sister to a very abusive husband. I never liked him, and my earliest memory of him was them having an argument on their wedding day, just before the reception and me being terrified of him.
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I remember the mediation efforts from the family that day and I have always wondered what would have happened if they had allowed that spat to cancel the wedding. A couple of years later she was dead, thrown from the first floor of her home by her husband.Our family has still not recovered from the loss and her children have been forced to grow without their mother.

The point of telling this story is because after my aunts death everyone in the family swore they had seen early signs that Arnold was a violent man but they hadn’t brought it up because he was a very “eligible” bachelor and she was finally getting married. The grief took a toll on her parents and sisters and they haven’t quite recovered till today.

They are always signs of domestic abuse if a family is willing to actually see them. Unfortunately most families are more concerned with what other people think and so would rather see their son or daughter in pain and married than free and single.

Another factor is raising children who know how to disagree without resorting to violence, if a child is raised in a violent home it is very likely that they will grow up to be violent themselves, children need to be raised in loving, peaceful environments in order to prevent them from growing up to be violent psychopaths in the future.

Society also needs to protect victims of domestic abuse instead of stigmatizing them. They need to feel comfortable enough to speak up and get help instead of being told to pray and endure. A high sentence should be imposed on domestic abusers, I recommend the death sentence.
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The families of victims of domestic abuse should also do well to remember the value of the individual and place it over the value of the marriage, your child doesn’t stop being your child just because they’re married.

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Indeed triggering. I am very sorry for what happened to your aunt. I like that you pointed out the family unit as the most important part of habilitation. Every one of us has an identity and comes from a place before we, together make up a society. If that ‘place’ is a happy place with love and good nurturing, society would also be a better place.

Thank you for this.

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