Tales of the Urban Explorer: 'The Limes House'

I could add some explicit history about, ‘The Limes House’, but that would surely give away the exact location. If it’s a shit-tip then I don’t care but this one has already seen enough vandalism and having seen the rate of deterioration lately of some old homes I do feel responsible.

It can hardly be called a 'Time-Capsule' as it was once a working hotel (or was it?) but it contains very salvageable items and sits almost next to the more infamous 'Estoril House' the scene of a grisly murder some 70 years ago.

We tried in vain to enter 'Estoril' as it contains a lovely grand piano and I was hoping to chug some cords on, as well as the beginning of, 'She's like the Wind', if I can remember it.

Alas, it had been sealed, and we were very surprised 'The Limes House' was not in the same state. Same owners, but possibly they had just nipped down to B&Q to buy more seals and were now returning armed with wood, boards, and nails.

One thing I am wary of is 'the sealers' banging them into place entombing both @anidiotexplores and me inside. He's a decent bloke, but an eternity of him may be pushing it a little.

This is the reason for the haste, and fortunately neither of piss around too much.

“This could be easier than a frontal direct approach?”

We were walking up a slight hill with a large intimidating-looking fence to the left of us. 'The Limes House' was close but we had not quite reached it. Knowing the grounds of these old stately homes were around 2 miles square, I guessed the other side of this fence was indeed, 'the grounds'.

I jumped through a hole thoughtfully crafted by a nameless vandal and vanished from public view.

...Not so overgrown that I am fighting to gain a few inches; all the better...

As with all of my explores this visit was almost a year ago, and since I have heard no recent reports regarding 'The Limes House' or 'Estoril House', I can safely assume both are now sealed and hopefully being renovated.

As for our entrance, the window was aided on both sides with helpful chairs, usually of the wheeled type just to catch you out.

It looks like the kitchen, complete with industrial-sized gear to get that 5-star food out to the starving guests.

A pre-curser to audiobooks; the subject matter is monotonous, at least in my opinion. If they contracted some old boring fart for the narrative then even worse.

Is that a touch of burning on the underside of the mantelpiece? It is a strange place for a cooker.

There was nothing inside the notebooks of interest, but you can now see the connection between the two ex-hotels. One contains dried murderous blood and the other one is clean.

The rooms in 'The Limes House' were large and spacious, typical of this period with that 'period' questionable wallpaper.

When entering, this is what you might have seen, albeit with touch less mess.

Multiple copies of a strange-looking agenda. Cindy knew the trick, just relax in the bar and let the rest of those bastards do all the work. The disposal bags were empty, lucky us!

The rooms all had names; a trait that has been kind of lost in more modern times.

It's not a bad old place to sleep in. I would prefer a room with intact windows and without broken glass sticking in my toes.

That is the Gladstone bedroom. Maybe it's the prestige of sleeping in the largest suite and bollocks to the hostile facilities.

Why write all this stuff down; Isn't it enough to just look at it? This is the kind of behavior I had as a boy when there was fuck all to do in life.

Fine quality MFI shelving, guaranteed to last for two years before falling apart.

‘The College’. What I was seeing looked far from one of those, but the adjoining properties could well have been. There were several, and the others will be published shortly.

‘Not to Scale’ it says, but that Gladstone Bedroom was bigger than the rest!

Perhaps this was a library come hotel. Arnold Bennett, I don't know, Arnold 'Ace' Rimmer... I do.

If there were music to be played in a Victorian building, it would hardly be Megadeth, though if I were to choose, the metal band would be preferable over this.

‘The Limes House’ was in remarkable shape considering it’s been left to rot. We ascended in search of more.

You could feasibly take a shower given the water was running. A few splinters may enter your toes on the exit.

Not more homeless but a stack of excess quilts.

It is true, the odd door was ripped off its hinges and discarded but compared to the rest of the derps in Stoke, this was positively A+ grade.

I would have chosen this room if I was homeless; intact glass, just a smidge of mold, a working radiator, and electric sockets to plug in my auto-lube vibrating vagina. All the things a happy vagrant needs before hitting the sack.

Having gone room to room, finding many of them quite empty we descended looking to finish off.

The lock was quite useless considering the left side guard had been ripped off its hinges.

Take your chances or not? The rightmost ones could well have been old stock or could have been spiked with arsenic and left by the owners for those thirsty annoying explorers.

The 'Lux' expiry dates are from 2011. Rubbing these on your ball sack will result in only 'quite clean' testicles.

Trying to be clever with focusing occasionally results in illegible text. I can’t remember what these pinkish tins were for.

Very fresh, I am sure of that. Take your pick amongst Milk or Flora.

Hardly priceless pottery, but pottery; we were still in the land of porcelain.

This was the first of THREE explores all next to each other. 'Estoril House' was the fourth and the one that got away.

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