For the first time, I read this piece and I'm lost for words. I don't even know what to say because I am afraid I may not say the right thing. It was such a long read, unlike anything I've seen on hive but it is allowed because you needed to vent and let off steam and you did it in the right place where people can actually read and give comforting words to you as a reply.

I don't think you are a failure. I think you need to see yourself better than you think you are. I don't think you are a bad mother too. Chastising a child is one way of helping the child to be resilient and a responsible adult in the society. Your daughter loves you I'm sure. I don't have kids but I know I was once in her shoes at some point in my life where I would always tell my mum how much I hated her but deep down in my heart I never meant it. She is my mother and maybe at that moment it felt like it but now that I am all grown up, I understand perfectly that all she did was for my own good. Your daughter would too.

I would say you thrive on the aspect you love. Shine more light on them and find a way to suppress the feeling of not being good enough because I know you are fantastic person. Sending you love and light ♥️♥️