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Hello, my friends and family.
I have a lot on my mind right now, and I'm in the process of writing several blog posts, but I am very particular about editing and I don't have the energy to finish the main one today, figured I would make a shorter post regardless.
There has been a lot of craziness in my life lately, as you would all know if you read my previous posts. I reconnected with a friend I cut off because I lived at his house for 2 months, and I felt the need to at least stay in contact. Well, it was a terrible idea, and I should have remembered that I blocked him for a reason.
I am writing a full post on it, so I will sum it up quickly for you. He asks to hang out, I say yes and we drive to what I thought was going to be home, but it was a house with a ton of needles and meth pipes everywhere. He brought me there to see if I could live there, I don't know what the F#@% he was thinking I have been sober since 2/26/22. He also needed to lie to his dad to get his microwave and sell it to these drug dealers for some fake Oxycodone pain pills that were pressed with fentanyl.
A lot more details, but let's just say he was really messed up the whole night, I forced him to take me home, and I told him I am never hanging out with him again.
I applied to like 25 places on indeed, and no word back yet. I have been getting even worse health-wise, and I don't know where I am going to live if I don't get a job soon, or if I'm just too unhealthy to work.
The main thing is just staying sober, and I do not want to use drugs or alcohol whatsoever, but I have no clue what I will do if I am homeless and sick. Let's just say my mom is not a fan of the idea of me coming back to her house. My life seems like it is a complete disaster, and I don't know what to do at this point, I am just trying to fix my sleeping habits, and get out of this pit I seem to be stuck in. Wish me luck, I hope it all works out. I cannot let the unknowns of life bring me back into a depressed state, I will not let it happen. Crazy that this is the first time I have been this physically sick and not mentally doing terrible in probably 10+ years.
I feel very sick right now so I'm gonna hop off and go to sleep.
Hats off to all the people who have been supporting me on Hive. They are the best company I have had in my life, and I am extremely thankful for their undying positive attitude, which can probably bring a person in the worst mental state ever back to happiness
If you enjoyed this post please vote, comment, reblog, and check out my other posts. Love you all ❤️, till next time.
I do understand what this feels like, starting from nowhere? I was thrown out a couple of times myself (with my mom tho). Just hang in there... And it's right you're doing your very best...
I have never been this successful in staying sober, and I guess I expect forgiveness too quickly. I just figure since I am terribly sick and completely stressed out, she could assist me until I get better. It is okay though, I cannot blame her, I definitely ruined her trust and it is entirely my fault.
I'm so sorry. That's really hard. And i guess anyone would be distant? But you're doing well. Just a little more time. I doubt she can resist you for long. Hope it isn't a critical illness?
It is okay, I do not believe I am critically Ill but it is unknown right now. We are close, but lots of arguing went on while I was using, she doesn't want to commit to me living there yet.
Yay! 🤗
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Hang in there, buddy! Don't let the past take you back. The future is so much more interesting!
Hug!🙌
thanks <3 it means alot.
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look at the bottom of the page. I will edit it but I have always posted the source at the bottom, and never have had a problem.
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Hang in there, you're doing great so far, even if things seem bleak at times. Look at the overall picture, and you will be fine!
Only thing bringing me down is the chronic fatigue lately. It will all work itself out in the end, and I will be back to normal. Having 0 energy to blog lately has been bothering me quite a bit though. Thanks for the reply <3.
As a mum I know trust is the most important and when it’s shattered than it takes time. And you do well and I’m due time all will be fine. Life has curves and you can handle it I am sure
Yes it is healing as we speak, but I think it is going to take longer than I predicted initially. I will make it through this perfectly fine, but living with the energy of a sloth is pretty bothering 😁.