My Uninvited Guest And How I Deal With It: When Anxiety Knocks.

Not to beat around the bush, to me anxiety remains an uninvited guest who shows up at inconvenient times, and even refusing to leave when the party is clearly over. You wonder how to pay up your fees, you get exhausted, worried and anxiety sets in, you get it paid and then it still refuses to leave, reminding you you have exams also, knowing you can't fail your family. As a Nigerian, life is already filled with enough gbas gbos(problems), the security, the never ending hustle of surviving in an unpredictable economy is enough already. So, when anxiety decides to sneak/crawl in, it can feel overwhelming. But let me share with you how I cope with it, not as a therapist/an expert, but as someone who has walked the bumpy roads of worry and found some ways to breathe more easily.

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First, let me paint how anxiety feels like for me, if its same as yours. Anxiety to me is that tightness in the chest when deadlines pile up, that every staying fear of failure, the worry that something terrible is about to happen even when everything seems fine. There was a time I was about doing a presentation, it was my project, come see how my heart was racing fast, I almost failed myself before I even presented. But over time, I’ve found ways to calm the storm inside my head.

Laughter, thats one thing I have learned overtime,laughter does hold immense power. You see Nigerians, we are naturally funny people. No matter how bad/hard things get, we find a way to laugh about it and bring a joke out of it. I mean, we can literally turn incresase in foodstuff, fuel scarcity and more into memes and make jokes about the most ridiculous situations you can think of. So when anxiety strikes/sets in, I turn to comedy. I watch skits from people like Sabinus, Funnybros, Brainjotter, Taooma and more, or sometimes I just scrool through Twitter threads where I see various hilarious post and responses.. Laughter has its way of reminding me that life isn’t always as serious/hard as my mind makes it seem.

Another thing that helps is talking to someone. I lean heavily on that, not that I just talk to anyone. Sometimes it’s a quick call to my best friend to vent about my worries, othher times, it’s sitting with my mom, discussing while pouring out my fears and she has her way of assuring me and making even my biggest fears feel small. You can also see to it, don't always keep to yourself, sharing what’s on your mind doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. There's a special kind of assurance thats comes from someone just telling you "You will scale through", " You are not alone".

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Another thing that does help me, for instance during my project defense was trying to put myself in another scenario, I mean, I have studied myself so well and found out am good at acting, during church drama plays and all, I do get applauded for my performance, I even got the best actor of the year, to hear that someone like that couldn't defend his project due to fear of the crowd, supervisors or whatever, that was what I did that day, the idea came late though, just few minutes to me being called out. But I did excellently well, I did it as if I was on stage acting, I did it as if it was what I was casted in a drama to play, I did it so well, even when I dont know what to say again, the applause from my colleagues covered up for me. I act well even if front of thousands of crowds, so why can't I do this.

Music is another lifesaver for me. There’s something about listening to gospel songs that soothes my soul. Sometimes I just put on my earpod, close my eyes, and guess what the rhythm would just drown out my anxious thoughts. And if the anxiety is really an intense one, I switch the music to an mp3 buetooth speaker, make it loud and then dance it out.

Prayer also plays a great role in helping me cope, talking to God is like talking to a friend who truly understands. Sometimes I don’t even have the words to say, sometimes I just cry out to him, sometimes I just sit quietly trusting that He knows what’s in my heart. Though it(prayer)doesn’t always make the anxiety go immediately, but when I stand up and ready to go, I find out am relaxed and there's this sense of peace.

I also remind myself to take things one day at a time. You know how in Nigeria we say, “We go dey alright last last”? Meaning it won't be like that forever, it won't rain forever. Little actions like taking a deep breath, a walk, writing can help regain control. And I dont beat myself up for being anxious, I am human, it doesn't mean I am less capable, I am just human.

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So, heres my story. Coping with anxiety isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about finding what works for you. If you’re reading this and dealing with anxiety, just know that you’re not alone and that last last, you go dey alright.

There are various entries organized by @leogrowth. This post is in collaboration with the @emotionsfeelings community and an entry to day 20 of #januaryinleo in #inleo,I am inviting you to also check it out,so as to partake in various interesting writing prompts.

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