Deadly Obsession.

Hello to everyone. How is your day going, I hope smooth.
Okay my name is Gift and am 21 years old, a final year student in the university.
lately I've just been thinking about my life and my relationship status. I dated ones in my life but it didn't last. I decided to do a check on why am going through this and I got the word "Obsession".
yeah! this is the situation where you get scared of losing your partner so you'd tend to look out on everything and steps he or she does. Trust flees away from you. it's better if it's mild but mine is deadly.
So when I step into a relationship I'm already facing backward.
many of us experience this right? I can't bid it.
So friends and family if you can... drop me an helpful prescription on the comment section.
Decided to air mine.. Thus I wrote...

Obsession
sadness grooves me. life seems so sucked up.

Obsession, a country I live in....

Obsession, a palace I dwell, as a Queen I rule the country. Sadness, grief and darkness are my ministers.

Obsession, the singular reason why am unable to maintain relationships.

Obsession why I've latched My heart with so many bars, rails and doors.

Obsession, he asked to love me.
Obsession, all I have to offer him.

I've built a wall like that of Jericho, a wall so high that none can penetrate into my palace.

Cross if you can.

Obsession
I acted like I acted like I didn't care
But it hurts like hell.

Obsession the ultimate reason!
.
.
.

(I saw Greg in a place it's like the dawn of a morning, just me and him but he's some meters away from me and he is facing backward. it seems he is shading away my eyes hurt, my mouth started moving and unconsciously am saying....)

Dear Greg
I told you about my palace
you said you'd be my king
yod rename it to "love"

Dear Greg
I acted strong but in the am crumbled, shattered, and devastated.
Darkness dances around my throne.

Dear Greg
I was scared of losing you
and now my imaginations laugh's best.

Dear Greg
my eyes jam with oceans of tears every now and then.
Obsession commands I serve her at all cost.
Sadness my top minister attacks my weakness in hordes.

Dear Greg
A promise! your word!
you said you'd rule with me in love until the very end.
But is this how short the end is?
Do you still love me and you've found another love?
it's just a question.

Dear Greg
I'm sorry,
No really sorry...
you didn't deserve me
I'd think?

Dear Greg
you have a beautiful soul
you so full of courage
your presence speaks for you.
hmmm!
I feel the nights hunts me with our cute memories.

Dear Greg
so you know
I've crossed the bags and burn them all.
I'm still the Queen of my palace.
I've got to serve my citizens and ministers.

Dear Greg
if this is your concept of love then I must say..
Greg love forgive me because I forgive you too.

Dear Greg
am still that strong you knew.

(Greg fades away, am left alone and it became darker, felt like he was the light but then I saw a star just one and it gave a little hope I'd say little.)

.
.
.

oh Lord!
it was all in mind.
Welcome to reality!!!

But still I could feel my imaginations, I could hear the echoes and helpless. It hurts bad.

#ithurtstobehurt.