"It hurts waking up" boy I can relate. I am experiencing one of the worst periods in my life for the past year. After losing my job and getting crypto rekt I left everything and moved to another country (Sweden). Secured a decent job here but still wage slaving, feeling so empty inside. Being 33 years old in a foreign country without speaking the language and not knowing anyone is really hard on me. Never felt so lonely in my life. People I connected with at work are not really kind of people I feel fulfilled being around. I got rejected by every girl I expressed interest in. Every day I am falling in deeper hole. Feeling like a zombie. I just don't know how to pool myself out of it. I know I could put effort in learning ths language. I just can't motivate myself to do it. I also love poker like you. I even started some program online to teach me how to grind, but my emotions are running wild. I just don't feel like I want to be alive anymore. I just want this pain to end.... I don't even know how I got to this point. I used to be positive and fight despite all the shit that happened to me. But now something just isn't right. I don't know what is wrong with me.