I haven't had nicotine in nearly 48 hours. That hasn't happened in ten years or so.
It's true that I'm eating like a pig, so I'm not feeling that great. Yesterday I wanted to bash my head into a wall; it felt like there were fireworks in my head, exploding in all the wrong directions. However, there's a lot to be learned from quitting smoking, such as:
- Don't smoke, it's stupid.
- Smoking is a sure path to responsibility avoidance.
- After you do something difficult, good things happen.
Now, despite the fact that it's only been 48 hours, any kind of withdrawal or craving is gone. This allows me to focus on other things, such as my upcoming move. I feel more calm and collected than I've felt in months, perhaps years. I won't give nicotine full credit - much of this has to do with making a decision and sticking to it.
This has always been hard for me. If there's one decision to make, I'll conjure up a million different directions I can go. I'll often ending up backtracking too. So much of life is just dealing with what it throws at you. No matter what decision you make, you won't be able to find some perfect shelter to protect yourself from any discomfort. Attempting to find the "perfect" solution deprives you of necessary challenges.
I didn't only decide to stop smoking. I decided to make a big move - moving out of state for a temporary job. See, I'm tired of paying rent, paying for a car I don't want, drowning in high-interest debt, working dead end jobs, and yet still trying to live with the "convenience" I've been groomed to expect from city life. I'm in a musical project here that is incredibly important to me, but I'll have to put it on hold - to go build a power plant, finish some certifications, pay off some of the debt, and get an old van that my wife and I can convert into a camper. It took me months to come to this decision. Now that I've made it, and I didn't back out of it, it made quitting smoking easier. I've got just a couple of weeks left before I start anew, I don't want tobacco to mess with my mind any more.
Make a decision, stick to it.
My next decision will be to stop eating like a pig. It's spring time. According to my accupuncturist, that means DON'T eat like a pig. Eat bok choy soup!