Your post made me smile ! And laugh too!!! (Especially with the: " Anyways, Vahn my pedicurist swears she's seen worse as she inspects my feet. I didnt know that was possible.")
Nail envy, now watch out after a few more pedi your feet will be envied;)
Im going back this week. My feet feel so much better. I swear they looked like a hobbits feet before i went in.