The tram conductor clearly tried to get the most out of his job. Chatting, joking, making everyone feel welcome in his tram. He stood out, since I'm used to more silent/invisible conductors who just walk their rounds ever 10 minutes. This Conductor was the centre of attention and made the tram ride an experience instead of a necessity.
An Old Man, and I'm not saying this if he didn't look like 80+ years old, walked in with a walker, clearly only able to set one foot in front of the other 10 centimeters at a time. If it was pain or simply 'stiffness' from being old I don't know. It just was very clear walking was not an easy thing to do but he had decided to do it anyway, and getting to the tram must have been quite the effort already. The Conductor held back passengers that were in a hurry so the Old Man could shuffle towards his seat without being bumped into.
The Old Man and Conductor started chatting and seemed to like sharing stories about the city we live in. I smiled, and listened in, curious about the stories and finding a good reason to not stare at my phone screen for the next 15 minutes.
The Conductor asked the Old Man where he had to go out. The Old Man told him and the Conductor grabbed the walker that was put away as to not obstruct the small walking lane for other passengers. The Conductor sat up the walker, making sure the conversations kept going in the meanwhile.
The tram slowed down, relatively close to the stop the Old Man wanted to get out. Two younger women were already impatiently waiting for the doors to open, but the Conductor told them "The tram will stop a little bit further on, he just has to wait here for a few seconds".
The tram made speed again, and everyone was expecting it to stop after 300 meters or so, but... It didn't.
The positive atmosphere that hung in the air for the past 15 minutes suddenly changed. The Conductor looked up surprised, yelling "Hey! Heeey!" to his colleague driving the tram, the two young women were mumbling shit!, because they missed their stop, but worst of all, the Old Man, the one who had clearly taken a lot of effort to get to that tram today, started cursing and shouting and I heard him say "Now I have to walk all the way back!"
My heart broke at that moment. Since three years I have to deal with Limited Mobility and this is the worst thing about it: you learn to cope with your limitations but when something doesn't go exactly according to plan there's no physical buffer, and that little bit of 'bad luck' that adds 200 or 2000 steps to your plan is the worst thing in the world.
Because there's no Spoons left. There's no 'shit I'm tired but I can push it a little bit longer'. You only have 500 steps to spend, and 200 more is not a matter of 'pushing it a bit more', it's simply 'not an option'. The spoons are gone.
I left the tram, not knowing how the Old Man had solved his situation. When I was at home I looked up the distance between the two tram stops: 500 meters. A 6 minute walk according to Google. But Google didn't see this man. For him this 500 meter walk might as well take 12 or 18 minutes. And I have serious doubt that he had the physical ability to make it.
More stories in the 'Limited Mobility | Unlimited Stories' series
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: I took this picture only moments before I would permanently damage my foot
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: How far do you go?
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: am I still a photographer?
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: what is a Spoonie and am I one too?
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: How my friends and family show me they understand my limitations
- Limited mobility | Unlimited stories: Why I'm looking for a magical shoe store like the one from my childhood
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Oh! Heart cracking a little on that one. Humanity, and all the challenges we face alone and together, is so complex. Big hugs, honey.
So big, so small... I just could feel why he was cursing, the frustration, the panic, the "But I NEEDED this to work the way I planned it"... Hugs.
Aw. So hard when we really want things to go one way, yet they go another. And at the same time, sometimes these detours lead us where we really need to go.
(Also reading up on the idea in your referenced blog) I found it a fascinating idea to specifically spoon out your energy; to take life in measuring cups. I get how that could work, but I have found that while some (chronic and painful) conditions benefit from tempered and moderated activity (don't push yourself over your limits or live to regret it) there will just be some days you are out of spoons before you even started, even when you stuck to your limits yesterday! Unfair! Or just the way the cookie crumbles. Better hoover those crumbs up though, tip out the bag and save them for a meagre day!
Is the moral of this story one for the tram driver? To do less wittering and more accurate driving?
Felt the warm support you gave the elderly man in your research of how much extra effort that misfortunate incident cost him.
Yes, absolutely true @sukhasanasister! Some days the spoons are pretty much non-existent. Or you might have one, and that one spoon is spent on something someone else doesn't even ever think about as an act that 'takes effort'.
Ah, morals... I don't really have one. I just observe and don't really judge. The tram driver didn't mean to get someone in pain, but he did. The Old Man didn't want to curse but he had to get his panic 'out there'. The girls were probably unaware of their privileges but were in their own right to complain.
I just recognized it. So much. Wish I could have helped him but was counting my own spoons...
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Wow! Sounds like something I would do! I sometime forget things even after placing then on my hands to take!
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I really appreciate when people have the empathy to even consider the amount of spoons another person may have. I'd imagine those two women were equally as upset as the old man was, and probably didn't give his struggle a second thought. Whenever I take the bus, it always puts me in a mood. There's always some complication with the system, and I find myself losing spoons from the whole ordeal. We have a school for the blind in the area, so a lot of our passengers are blind. Everytime they step on, the whole atmosphere changes. They are consistently the most jovial passengers, never complaining about bus times, rude passengers pushing past them to get on, or the treacherous ice they had to walk on just to get to the stop. It always resets my perspective. Life is hard for everybody (even the privileged) but the same experience shared by multiple people can be a completely different experience for some.
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If only people understood the lack of spoons issue :( The world doesn't cater for those of us who don't fit into those nice little normal categories, which is a shame because those of us who are outside that box probably have more drive and determination as a result
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