I have ADD [Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder] - Rishi Nema [My Diary]

Hey Diary, writing after an immense break. 'I actually didn't even got a single second to write' is what I was lying to myself. I constantly kept on saying to myself that I'll start on Monday, then Tuesday, Wednesday and so on. Literally I was lying to myself for this long. But a month ago I realised that i was just doing nothing and was waiting to achieve everything overnight. I started taking a look at how I was spending my day and I came to know a lot things which I didn't knew about. I came to know that after the lunch I was not able to focus on anything. If I plan on doing a certain work at that time, the work was never ever completed. I didn't knew that what was happening? Why I was this lazy? Why the heck I can not focus on my work or even on my studies? So I did a research on myself and I thought that this all was happening to me because of the environment. I have really very bad environment not on the nature side but on the people side. People around me are seriously just bad and bad. I don't even have words. But anyways, I assumed that all those problems were hitting me from every side because of this bad environment. I was searching for peace and positive environment. So I strongly prepared myself one night (It's around the first week of November) and I noted all the things I need to complete by next day. Everything was going great! This day I was proud of myself that maybe a little but I completed a big portion of my work. On that day when I lost my focus, I thought of my goals...what all the things will occur if I Pause now? In other words I started looking things from different angle. Previously i used to think about what I'll get after working hard, but now I switched my thinking and Started to think about what I will lose if I didn't work hard. This switch was a masterstroke for me. I found my way of self motivation. But still the problem was that I was not able to fully utilize my time. I was still losing focus and was easily distracted, but I thought that it is just a normal thing happening to me because I hibernated for more than 1.5 years. So I started to slowly improve myself. This was all happening till today 4:23 PM. Around this time I came to know that the reason for my constant distraction and depression were not my laziness, helplessness, and hopelessness which I used to think, but instead, it was ADD [Attaintion Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder]. Still a good thing happened to me that I came to know the exact name of problems I was facing. A few months back I told some of my symptoms to my sister and she told me that those were a normal thing and I should not worry about them. Well now i myself except that it's a common problem but still it is a disorder. Thank god it's not a serious disorder. But still I want to overcome it. So from tomorrow I am starting with the natural way. I have looked for meditations and all other helpful things and I am starting them from tomorrow. Best wishes that this natural method works.

I actually want to write a lot, I want to share all the things happened to me last 6 months. A lot of people betrayed me again...but on same time found a person whom I considered bad but now he's better than my RELATIVES. Today it's very late so I'll write tomorrow. My main to-do list for tomorrow is:

1. To get new glasses as I broke old ones
2. To fully complete the self-motivation file
3. To write everything about my last 6 months
4. To finish two topics in physics as my exams are starting this coming March and I've studied nothing...but if did a little bit then I forgot everything!

Hope that I complete all these and from now write every single day.

Good Night.