I like that distinction; I'm always trying to put a finer point on the distinction between fault and accountability, because I think it's an important (if often subtle and confusing) one.

Agreed (of course) that the violence that is taken for granted as normal and even sometimes as necessary in our world is inherently traumatic, and is connected to / gives rise to other forms of systemic violence. I love practices like NVC and Compassionate Listening because they shine a light on the violence that arises in our thoughts and in our language, helping us to become more aware of and uproot these most subtle beginnings of violence and tolerance for violence.