I'm always amazed by the sheer volume of negativity that seems to permeate our modern world.
It seems like we spend an extraordinary amount of time looking at every tragedy and failure with an array of magnifying glasses and microscopes... while such things as success and joy are relegated to "a footnote on page 74."
Yes, I know, bad news "sells." There's that old publishing truism "If it BLEEDS, it LEADS."
Tiny purple flower at the side of the road...
Something positive and heartwarming is a momentary sideshow, and then we dismiss it with "yeah, but that's not REAL life!" and move on to the next disaster.
Do We Even Care?
Mostly, it seem like people don't care.
People especially don't care about anything that might require them to engage in the process of creating their own happiness. In our quests to feel something, we reach for quick fixes based in the negative.
To wit, I am writing an article about having a positive outlook... which might get read fifty times... but if I were instead writing an article about "Katy Perry gets drunk and loses her panties and is embarrassed in public" it would probably be read fifty thousand times.
I find it a little disturbing.
Actually... more than a little disturbing.
So much of life seems designed around profiting/benefiting from the demise and failures of others, rather than their successes.
We tear down, rather than building up.
For many, success is sweeter when it comes at the expense of someone else.
Do these ducks worry about happiness?
Spiritual Paradoxes
As you might be aware by now, I spend a lot of time involved in — and writing for — the self-development and spirituality "industry."
In that particular field paradoxes abound and the negativity takes the form of an endless glorification of people's "wounds" and "suffering," while those who seem to dance through life unscathed and unwounded are dismissed as "deceiving themselves" or having "avoided real life."
Somehow, there's a semi-hidden subtext that the experience called life isn't "real" unless it's a miserable hell hole that beats the living daylights out of you and leaves you to bleed out in a metaphorical ditch, somewhere. And yet? The entire industry is based around the notion of seeking and creating happiness.
Odd, no?
If you actually have the thing you're questing for, you're evidently delusional.
Developing and maintaining a positive outlook is remarkably difficult... because even though we're told that's what we're supposed to be striving for, the road is paved with judgments largely designed to make someone who's actually happy feel like they have somehow "cheated" or "failed" to be real.
The brightness of the common dandelion... in extreme close-up
Punitive Happiness?
In many cases, we actually judge happy people negatively. Think about it. How many times have you been part of a situation where someone said/thought "Here comes Barbara-- she's always so annoyingly perky and happy. Clearly she's faking it! I can't STAND her!"
And so, here we have this bright shiny person... and we're judging her as a "fake."
I remember some years back, watching a TED talk in which Martin Seligman — regarded by many as the "father" of the positive psychology movement — pointed out that the psychology industry has done a fine job of helping people out of depression... BUT being in a state called "not depressed" is NOT the same thing as being "happy," and we're doing a lousy job — as a society — teaching people how to actually be happy and content.
Of course, Big Pharma doesn't want you to be happy, because if you were, you'd no longer be an obedient little consumer.
Society has no support system for "happiness." For an awful lot of people, life revolves not so much around striving to better themselves... as around looking at something totally awful and patting themselves on their collective backs because their lives are BETTER THAN "totally awful."
What a sad and low level of existence to aspire to...
How about YOU? Are you generally a happy and content person? Has anyone ever questioned the "sincerity" of your happiness? If that's not you, do you find "happy people" somehow fake and artificial? Do you think they are faking it? Do you think culture tends to glorify happiness as a "goal," while NOT being supportive of actually being happy? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 190422 23:57 PST
0990
I am definitively appalled by the sheer volume of negativity!
While I am sure that tragedy sells, I can't help but Wonder why positive thoughts and deeds are not boosted up into the highlight?
If what you were saying about the article depicting embarrassing attitudes is true, surely the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. I will normally skip over things like that because first of all most of them aren't true and second of all, if it is true, why on God's Earth would I want to share any joy in somebody else's embarrassment? I'm not sure what kind of Joy anyone gets out of back, but as you pointed out its sells, and it sells well.
Do people really have that little going on in their lives that they can honestly read this stuff and take any satisfaction in it?
I do find it a little bit behind that the industry is based around the notion of seeking and creating happiness rather than embracing it. Because obviously, if you listen to all that is red, nobody is really happy but there is help out there to get you there.
I can honestly say that I am actually a very happy person most days. There will be an occasional day-wear I may have a death in the family or a friend who is plagued by problems, but in the big scheme of things oh, I find that life has been more than good to me and when it hasn't, I whether it and move on, surrounding myself with positive people. There's a ton of them out there and it is a misconception thinking that there's something wrong with people that are happy all the time. I have been falsely accused of being too happy, much to my dismay. I didn't understand that you were allowed to be happy, appreciating life for what it is, a gift. A true gift.
All the while, I do understand that depression is very real, but I also understand that big Pharma is it at all interested in helping these people unless they are helping themselves to their product.
I understand what you mean about happy people that are Faking It. I sometimes feel like some of the social interactions might be on the side of faking it until they make it. I'd like to think that my comments are genuine and what I say is exactly what I mean. I don't want to be misinterpreted as being a twit who doesn't know how to be serious, but I and content in life, and have been very fortunate, so perhaps it is easier for me to find daily happiness. I'm not sure about that, or perhaps it's just a personality, or perhaps it's just a combination of many things. I personally had an amazing childhood, which is a great springboard for lifelong happiness. If you want to give your kids the same, put down those electronic devices and talk to your kids. Do you know how many parents I see, walking through the stores, talking on the phone the entire time they are there while the kids are in the cart? I noticed a couple on their honeymoon texting while at the dinner table... really? I saw another couple texting EACH other across the table. Is this hurting our happy? I think it dulls our senses in some ways. And yes, I realize my thoughts are all over the place here, but, I wanted to answer this and a little short on time.
As always, I wish you an amazing day and I'll even throw a little bit of extra happiness in there for you!
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I think so many people try to fake happiness these days and that keeps them from being happy. It’s like they need put on this front and pretend to be someone they are not to prove something. The other half seems to almost enjoy being in an endless state of panic and sadness.
I’m not an overly happy person myself. I do think people can be happy though. A lot of amazing things in this world once you unplug for a few hours and go and find it.
Nice photography, That's the beauty of nature.
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Thank you.
I believe it all comes from the top, get rid of the negative makers and then we will thrive...
Semi-Hidden-Subtext...
I think you hit the nail on the head with "Big pharma doesn't want happy people".
My perspective is part of the food and poor diets, the body doesn't function at an optimal level also causing endocrine damage that translate into a lower brain performance. Combined with all the advertising, tv propaganda and the message being put out that you must have ___ or you must be ___ sets unrealistic expectations on the general population when they struggle to get to the white picket fence "dream" and those who are not into this feel pressured to conform and spend $$ they may not have in order to not be judged by their peers or be seen as competent and "winning at life". Insecure people make others insecure to make themselves feel better and it's unfortunate. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. I do notice no one seems to care anymore on how they treat each other.
I see this especially in my generation, with the age of cell phones and internet, instant gratification is the only way and maybe have forgotten that the good things in life and success takes time and hard work and failing at something isn't the end of the world or the end of trying. Seems like people give it a soft effort and flee at the first signs of failure. Nothing good in life comes easy.
I still can't wrap my head around glorifying pop stars and celebrities, perhaps paying them too much attention has set unrealistic living standards that most of us will never achieve and maybe why so many feel depressed and hopeless and unwilling to do anything to better themselves? To me that is a waste of time, too many simple pleasures to be enjoyed all around us and be thankful to be alive, people need to slow down and learn to enjoy the simple little things most take for granted everyday and surround themselves with great people that enrich their lives instead of based on their popularity and maybe put down the electronic devices and social media from time to time, at the very least learn to stop comparing their lives to what the see on it and realize that people only post their best moments and not their worst. I have been called fake for being happy in general but whatever, I make the effort to succeed and change my expectations when I need to. You can lead a horse to the water but ya can't force him to drink.
I love the duckies on the water!! Winter is long here and they are just starting to return, I can't wait to go to the park and get them with their ducklings soon.
I am , and solitary swear I am a HAPPY satisfied person , well 24 days off the month to be absolutely honest but it’s true if the world would be smiling more it would be so much nicer! And live and let live and turn off all screens a few a
Hours a day !
Happy Wednesday
I am happy, although I don't glow ;) I just enjoy what the world gives us, I try to learn from the negative, upgrade or survive when things turn sour... which is an upgrade in relative terms.
It comes from within. There will always be negative stimuli. Don't let them dictate.
Very insightful @denmarkguy. Grateful and blessed on this beautiful day :)
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You wrote a very insightful post @denmarkguy and by the comments others agreed with me. I can't change the world, but I can change my view on life. Thank you! 🙏
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Thankfully, Steem is mostly positive! :)
I have a theory as to why we crave negativity.
Biologically, it helps (helped?) us survive.
By focusing on and remembering negative (read: dangerous) events, we are better able to avoid those same events for ourselves. Avoiding these experiences allows us to live to procreate. Ergo, those who were best at focusing on and remember the negative were the ones who were most successful in passing their genes to their offspring.
Today, many of us live in worlds in which we don't have to avoid the negative as a means of survival, but our brains and bodies are still wired to focus on and remember it.
Doing the same for positive experiences doesn't increase our chances of survival in the way that the negative does.
What do you think?
As for your questions, I am a happy and content person, although I often come across as cold, aloof, and weird. I do find those incessantly perky people to be kind of annoying and absolutely fake. I feel the same way about overly nice people though. I feel as if they can't possible really be that nice all the time. It's got to be exhausting and they've got to be lying.
I'm not entirely sure where that attitude comes from, except that the majority of the people I've known who were so nice to people on the surface were also quick to be mean and spiteful in private. I've heard it, I've seen it. That doesn't mean everyone is that way, but I definitely am more guarded around people who present as incredibly happy and nice than I am around people who present with more emotional variety.
#powerhousecreatives
The only thing that comes to mind is Misery Loves Company
There is a lot of negativity, but I mostly ignore it and focus on what’s good instead. And I seem to be surrounded by people who are mostly happy. So I don’t experience the negativity as much as others do, I suppose!
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There is an old adage, "bad news travels fast". Everyone wants the excitement of knowing someone has it worst. Some people write posts about the bad things in their lives or asking for funds.
Everyone is doing what they need to do. Focusing on the positive is not always the easiest path but in the end it does have its rewards.
People have mistaken my positivity for sarcasm. 😂 Or maybe naivete, but I think it is because I have loved deeply and felt great loss and pain that I now generally enjoy and cherish each moment and everything I experience. If you look at things as just a crazy messed up world then it is. If you see the world as beautiful, it is. However, this may be easy for me to say. I have brought sorrow upon myself in my life, but in general my life has been such an awesome gift that I can't imagine that I deserve it. It's a strange journey and I'm thankful for all of it. I'm also completely convinced we will all wake up eventually and realize how beautiful and abundant it is here. And then we will forget it again 😂 but thats ok I think it cycles in and out like that.