Because Google is nice and good and helpful I just wanted to sum up that pesky little contract we all skip, because well it's to damn long, and again Google is your friend!! Don't you wish you could just plug yourself in!! Just wait don't worry its coming!!!!! When it does just ignore the pesky little contract thing. My sum up is in quotes. Except for 5 spots that will be marked by+++++. Thanks. Also bad word warning don't read if you'll melt. Like I said I'm going to sum up the almighty Google contrac, in my own words, using there guidelines. This is for Google's Benefit. WE all love Google! It already knows what we want and helps us not get lost! Its great guys really..... don't even bother to read it yourself ill just sum it up for you right here.
Google Terms of Service(You have no clue what your clicking away at! Deep crowd laughter in background some of it raises the hair on your neck.)
Last modified: October 25, 2017 (view archived versions) +++(Your agreeing to things you have no idea about!)
Welcome to Google! (You have no real choice anyway its just one little click and we are Google!)
Thanks for using our products and services (“Services")+++( Our lawyers made us make up this word. Mostly because what we do being called a ,"Service", is not exactly the whole story...)The Services are provided by Google LLC (“Google”)+++(Even think about using our name to make a buck and we will shove our lawyers right up your ass or blow your fucking head off.), located at 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA ,United States. ( We have serious zip code envy don't even think about trespassing. My dog will straight fuck you up!).
By using our Services, you are agreeing to these terms. Please read them carefully. ( You have no fucking clue how serious we are about knowing everything about you. We also want to control and poison you, we want your mind and money and we want you to agree and shut the fuck up or else!)
Our Services("Services wow its really mind blowing what we can do with this little word.) are very diverse,(We have everything you want guys and gals! You want it you got it.) so sometimes additional terms or product requirements (including age requirements)++ may apply.(Sometimes we get in trouble for pictures involving minors so we have to be real careful and cover that shit up and our own asses right away.) Additional terms will be available with the relevant Services,( Sorry we really love this word. So read it if you even can you stupid fucks.) and those additional terms become part of your agreement with us if you use those Services. ( This one click yes lets us do whatever we want from now till we put you in the fucking ground.)
Using our Services
You must follow any policies made available to you within the Services. (We will fuck you up if you don't obey and invade your privacy, we'd like to give you a reason but we are trying to replace God. Its harder than you think and we are going to hell anyway so we have to make the most of our time here now. So shut the fuck up click yes.)
Don’t misuse our Services.( Don't you dare do anything we do. Do you have any idea how illegal it is? Dumbass.) For example, don’t interfere(Fuck with us!) with our Services
(You have no idea how expensive this word was. It cost more than your life is worth, click yes then fuck off and die.)
or try to access them using a method other than the interface and the instructions that we provide.(Don't listen to anyone but us. They are all wrong and we are hunting them down and silencing them.) You may use our Services only as permitted by law,( We make the law, so don't even think about anything unless we tell you to.) including applicable export and re-export control laws and regulations.(We roll deep motherfucker, like worldwide, you cant hide.). We may suspend or stop providing our Services(Seriously, you have no idea how much this word cost or what it means, click yes dickhead.) to you if you do not comply with our terms or policies or if we are investigating suspected misconduct. (We spy on you so we will know if you are trying to fuck with us. If you do, we will do whatever it takes to silence you if it fucks with our bottom dollar.)
