If you must fear God...

I've been really good at getting away from home this summer, which is fine because I've been keen on breaking routine as much as possible. This last getaway i was playing bass with a Krsna group, because they had no bassist (that's me in the middle). I don't like religion, but of all religions i like Krsna the best. Still, once you know you're not separate from God, there's no amount of literature and preaching that can convince you otherwise, and most religions believe that God is out there and we're trapped here/elsewhere.

Interacting with other people and beliefs is always a test of tolerance for me. I don't know why, but I'm very good at identifying the blindspots of their speech and also checking thoroughly if their words match their actions.

Now, these people I've been sharing with are great: they are kind, hard-working, and they are very open to share everything they are. But the fact that they follow a religion with devotion means that talking to them is full of dead ends. There's always a point when you know you are not being truly listened to and that their answers are just repetitions of something they read or were taught by their spiritual teachers.

Another thing that makes me go on a bumpy ride is that Krsna is often depicted in Nature, hanging out with animals, being one with his surroundings. I ask myself: why then the need for mantras, so many books, so many objects, panflets, machines, etc? Why not just be like Krsna? Why not join in the primal essence of spiritual connection with all that surrounds us?

Maybe it's a process, something that comes more naturally to some than others, and these are the tools they use... That's why it's necessary to practice tolerance my friends... Tolerance. Everyone has their path to walk.

Now, there's also a limit because people can get quite crazy with the God topic. While I was at the festival, the classic drunk man who talks about God approached me. He started talking about how God had given him everything he wanted but not a woman, which he just accepted because he also feared God.

I raised both my middle fingers towards the Sun and said that if God treats me that way I tell him a big fuck you. The man laughed nervously and said he couldn't say that.

I answered that if he must fear God, then that is not a God of Love, it's just a tyrant.

After a while of listening to him I grew tired of the words and begin to teach him to focus on breathe and to think of his God while doing it. I didn't do this out of goodness, I did it because my tolerance was completely worn out and I just wanted silence.

But then something magical happened because he begin to actually focus and sit a bit more straight. Then he started crying a bit but trying to repress it, lamenting the fact that tears were running from his cheek. I told him it was ok, that it was good to cry and asked him if he wanted a hug to which he answered that he didn't know.

I hugged him and it was inevitable not to cry as well, I could feel all that repressed pain flowing out from him. It was a beautiful moment, a moment when God's presence was truly felt, and for that I am grateful.