Its not always about seeking, instead its about staying still and listening to God

I go through huge death and rebirth processes where I will be one person for maybe a couple months or even a week and then I die and become something different. I change very easy and I notice I never stay the same. New beliefs get engrained in my brain and new ways of living. Recently I have been moving deeply out of beliefs, deeply out of the new age spiritual movement and I have been for awhile but I never really knew how to talk about it.

Last year around this time I went through a really huge dark place of discovering if I actually believed in the universe or not. I wasn’t sure if I was crazy. All my beliefs crumbled about what I thought I knew and I was crying of sadness and fear basically every single day trying to figure out if God was real. Its been a beautiful journey.

I have had many experiences with plant medicine and astral beings and past lives and all of that where it was an experience I went through that shook things up for me and made me start living this life of helping other people see that “This isn’t all there is in life.” This year, within the last two months I still know that to be true but its different now. I have fully been letting source and God speak through me in ways that I can’t even comprehend.

My death and rebirth journey is crumbling again with everything I thought I knew and this time its been huge tears of joy welcoming in and partnering up with something bigger than myself. I have taken a back seat on wanting to learn about spirituality or anything of that nature because its all just knowledge of wanting to learn everything in the world and feeding our egos to try to be at a higher vibration. I don’t want to learn everything anymore. I know that when the time is right for me to be blessed with that knowledge it will flow through me from God. I am the vessel and I don’t need to seek it, because with Gods help I will be shown the way.