Yes, I realize it's unbecoming to complain... As you say, making a living as a freelance writer, alone, is not exactly easy, either. One might be paid hundreds for an article or one might be paid nothing, in the case of literary magazines, other than exposure.
'Time for introspection and contemplation' is, ultimately, invaluable and that is why we are, in fact, lucky to by here.
Stay blessed and I wish you a pleasant and restorative weekend _/|\_