Mario Lore: What is a Plumber?

Hey. So, I spend way too much time thinking about the Super Mario games.

Skimming past his humble beginnings as a carpenter, referee, and thirty other jobs--and his official Japanese profile leaving his occupation aside--one of the key things most people know about Mario is that he's a plumber. In the animated series and live action adaptation, Mario was a plumber first, a common man dragged into the Alice-in-Wonderland-esque world of the Mushroom Kingdom. In the core story of the games (as much as one exists), Mario's plumbing is sometimes referenced but rarely demonstrated. Commentators and article writers often joke about Mario doing everything BUT plumbing.

But what is a plumber, in the context of Mario's world?

The Mushroom Kingdom is not our own. Metal blocks and entire land masses levitate of their own volition. Fire breathing kappa conquer realms with wooden airships. Dinosaurs are still alive, and many are both benevolent and social. In this strange land of magical flowers and frog suits, what does it mean to be a plumber?

Consider how the pipes work.

Pipes in the Mario games aren't just there to convey sewage. They're massive, they ignore physics, and they transcend space. A big green pipe that leads straight into a dead end wall could take you halfway around the world in an instant. They're a form of transportation, able to close the distance between two points without ever touching. They sometimes lead into secret caches, the sole entrance to hidden dungeons and ancient treasure rooms. When one enters a pipe, they could find the quickest route to their destination... or they could find unfathomable horrors. Man eating plants, monstrous chestnuts, huge crabs... or just an infinite plane of water, inhabited by murderous jellyfish.

So what does the title of 'plumber' imply? Someone has to explore those pipes. Someone has to venture into the unknown dark, braving unseen threats and the risk of never returning. Someone has to map out the network of extraspacial entrances, point to point. Society could depend on it. Imagine what having magic doorways thoroughly scouted out could do for industry, for politics, for war, or just for casual travel. Someone that deals with the pipes--establishing routes and clearing them of hazards, and determining where it all goes--they would be a cornerstone of civilization. The difference between primitively struggling for resources in isolation, and all the wonders of modernity... it would rest on the shoulders of plumbers.

Such a job would also require the bravest, the boldest, the strongest. You would be putting your life on the line at every juncture. You would be facing the most unknowable of unknowns. Your next pipe could dump you straight into molten lava, or on the wrong side of enemy lines, or into the nest of hungry beasts. Your next venture into the abyss could see you outnumbered and outgunned. Fighting for your life wouldn't just be a concern, it would be an inevitability.

A plumber wouldn't just be a hero, they'd by default be one of the toughest, pluckiest individuals in the land. A plumber in the Mushroom Kingdom would be a professional adventurer, a pioneer with a knack for survival.

It seems ridiculous, at first glance, that the one to jump at the call to save a kidnapped princess would be a plumber. Not a knight, not a warrior, but a plumber. In our world, in the context of this universe, it would be silly... but when you take a long, hard look at what being a plumber would entail in that reality, it makes perfect sense. A plumber would be the individual most equipped for giving chase, for taking down bigger and more numerous foes, for infiltrating a castle far from the warmth of home. Mario's status as a plumber-turned-hero wasn't an oddity, it was the role he'd spent his entire career training for.

Even without knowing his name or knowing he's coming, anyone even remotely familiar with the Mushroom Kingdom's culture would sweat at the sight of overalls. This is no ordinary man--he's seen things, and he outlived them.

And though the general consensus seems to be that Mario's left his plumbing days behind him, I don't think that's the case. Even when he's not saving his kingdom or rescuing royalty or stopping alien invasions, I feel like Mario would get bored just sitting around waiting for it all to go wrong again. Exploration's in his nature. I wouldn't mind seeing a mainline game where Mario just... stumbles onto the adventure, instead of it riding up to his doorstep in a clown-faced flying machine.

Maybe something like how Majora's Mask or Link's Awakening was for the Legend of Zelda series--something that shows what Mario does after all the princesses are back in their respective castles.