11 Adults Funny jokes for you, ...

in #funy7 years ago (edited)

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No1
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep.
The next day, their driver died of poisoning.


No2
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS.
His son asked Dad why? He answered, so that when I am dead, no one will chase your mum.


No3
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband.
Maid said sir you are my witness you know I never wear panties.


No4
Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them, Son: “What are you doing?”
Father: “I’m putting petrol on your Mom.”
Son: “Haauu – Haauu! Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr Zwane has put in yesterday.”
Mother fainted!


No5
A man went to the pub with his wife.
When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered: “You must demand cash before sex, I know him he doesn’t pay.


No6
A girl tells her mom that she is going out to have some french fries. She went out and had sex with a boy for an hour and came back home.

Mother: “And how was were the fries?”
Girl: “Nice!!”
Mother: “I can see that, the mayonaise is dripping out of your mouth.”


No7
There was a boy called D*ck. He asked his mom one day:

Dck: “Mom, why is my friend’s name Diamond?”
Mom: “Because her mom likes diamonds and most moms name their children by what they like.”
D
ck: “Then what’s my name supposed to mean?”


No8
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.

At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”

Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”


No9
A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the baby was black.

The husband, Yen, asked his wife, Chu, “Why is the baby black?”
Chu answered, “Yen, you know we are in Ghana, no electricity, room hot, you hot, me hot, sex hot, baby burn.”


No10
Girl & boy go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten? The boy’s hand.


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