New latest Jokes of of 2018 ....

in #funny7 years ago

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.........
Guest at a restaurant:
“I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! “
Waiter: “
That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
.......
I’m selling my talking parrot.
Why?
Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me.
.......
“You are so kind, funny and
beautiful.”
“Oh come on.
You just want to get me to bed.”
“And smart, too!”
.....
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke –
but you didn't like it.
..........

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One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:

  • Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
    Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
  • Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
  • Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife
    Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
  • Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
  • Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
    Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
  • Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
    Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
  • Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
    Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
  • You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…