NBA Continues To Encourage Teams To Suck (Jim Shorts Reports)

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

As if it is not bad enough that the fans of 29 NBA teams know that, outside of a Warriors' bus crash, they have absolutely no chance to win a title, the NBA has just instituted two more rules to encourage every other team to continue to suck.



Since 1985, the NBA has used an overly complicated mathematical formula to assign the picks to teams in the annual draft. Rumor has it that in 1985 they also used an overly complicated freezer in order to ensure the New York Knicks envelope would miraculously be chosen.

It is a little known fact that before the 1985 season, the New Your Knicks were embattled in a dispute with their "sweat boys" (the guys who clean up the sweat on the court so no one slips). The "sweat boys" won the contract battle and doubled their wages to $3.35 per hour. As punishment, the Knicks sent memos to the league office declaring that they were going to attempt to build the sweatiest team in the history of time. The league decided to help the Knicks do this in the most efficient way possible. Instead of the Knicks having to acquire 12 sweaty players, the league office rigged the lottery so the Knicks could draft the sweatiest man who has ever lived: Patrick Ewing.*



4 "sweat boys" drowned during Ewing's rookie season alone.

But back to this year's rule change. From now on, the worst three teams in the league will each have a 14% chance of obtaining the #1 overall pick in the draft. Brilliantly this means that terrible teams (i.e. the entire Eastern Conference) will have triple the incentive to try and suck as much as possible. Before this change, 2 or 3 teams at most would jockey to lose games at the end of the year in an effort to finish with the worst record.

But thanks to the geniuses in the league office, at least triple that number of teams will have a legitimate shot of finishing with one of the three worst records. So now, instead of 2 or 3 teams trying to lose, 9 or 10 will try to lose. Brilliant!



The 76ers are employing the best technology to ensure they will have a shot at the #1 pick... again.

But wait there's more!

In addition to the brilliant lottery adjustment, NBA commissioner Adam Silver now has the authority to fine teams up to $100,000 for resting healthy players on the road. That's right, the NBA wants teams to rest their players AT HOME!

I won't get into whether or not players should rest at all. I think a team's only goal should be to win championships. If their experts feel that resting a player will help them win a championship now or in the future, I am all for it. But I also understand that many fans care more about games on a daily basis (they want their team to win that night). So I can see both points of view.

But lets get back to the idea of them resting players AT HOME!

That's right. Hey loyal season ticket holder who needs to split the season with your buddies because we charge so much for tickets that only corporations and the super rich can afford them without partners... SCREW YOU! You only get to go to every 4th game because you are sharing. Well too freaking bad! You and your son don't get to see Russel Westbrook (who you are helping to pay $41 million per year). Your home team, that you support, has been encouraged to sit Russel Westbrook tonight so he can play tomorrow in Chicago.



This is insane!

It is very true that fans in Chicago only bought tickets to see the visiting team. Do you know why? Because their team sucks! Perhaps if the owner of the Bulls wanted to sell tickets he should acquire better players so his home fans have an incentive to come.

But instead, the Bulls are rewarded yet again for sucking and making horrible personnel and management decisions.

Why would any team, outside of the top 8 in the league even try?

The terrible teams can throw 5 buckets of puss on the court and still get their cut of the national tv contract. They still get their share of jersey sales and NBA.com revenue. They still get the gate from the tickets they sell to their sucker fans so they can watch the visitors bring in actual NBA talent.

So yes. By all means, make sure Russel Westbrook plays in Chicago instead of in front of his home town fans. Reward the owners of teams that say "Go to Hell" to their home fans every day by putting out an inferior product.

You really nailed this one Mr. Silver.

*The alleged rigging of the draft had nothing to do sweat. I made that up.

https://www.si.com/nba/2017/09/28/draft-lottery-reform-player-resting-rules-changes

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Wow, awesome post. Thanks for posting. Do you post regularly?

Well this qualifies as it's funny because it's true. The NBA really has become a joke. I gave up on it years ago. Being a Sixers fan made that easy.

The draft was rigged before the lottery anyway. In the ABA book Loose Balls, a lot of players from the sixties and seventies talk about how the NBA was telling them what team they were going to before the draft. At least the ABA was up front about their drafts being a joke.

I have not read that. Sounds about right. The NBA gets closer to professional wrestling every day.

If you are fan of basketball from the sixties and seventies I highly recommend that book : Loose Balls. It's an interview style book and the author talks to everyone he could from the ABA, including all the big names.

The ABA nearly forced a merger in 1970 because a disgruntled employee from the NBA commissioner's office leaked documents listing the order of the draft, which players the teams would draft, and how much money the teams would offer. Of course this was before the draft was held. The ABA threatened to sue (even though they were doing the same thing) and all of a sudden a merger agreement was worked out. It was killed off by the NBA players association who sued the leagues claiming it would create a monopoly. The government stepped in and made a lot of changes to the agreement, including giving the players free agency after one year in the league. Both sides rejected the new agreement and the merger was called off.

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Great article. Upvoted.

It was good to read some different opinions about this subject. I have only read positive opinions about this decision.

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Tomorrow i will upgrade my account by adding Basketball to my posts as well now that the season is almost starting
will keep an eye out for your posts,
Hope you will enjoy mine, looking forward to connect with fellow NBA fans.
will also still blog about travelling like i started on the platform.
keep them coming buddy