English is a fat mess, and is a language of humphs, brays and chillowing spippetries. There was apparently an attempt from the beginning to create a language which couldn't be written, a sort of secret code exclusively crafted for the high lords of verbosity. Sporting synonyms, homonyms and homophones, silent 'k's and hard 'c's, English was obviously never meant to be learned by the sane nor scribbled by the hand of the mundane.
It's impossible yet we keep trying to learn it, we continue to attempt to write right, and we English speakers continue to sound like we are trying to ruin Spanish, or that we are hoping to create a German language with less spitting, or that we are just trying to confuse the whole world with the absurdity of our tongues.
I wrote an absurd sentence in English once, as I'd found a way to put four homophones next to each other in a sentence. It happened while I was trying to convey to an acquaintance the wisdom of getting into the incense market. My friend wasn't great with numbers and could barely count to two, but at the time buying into the incense market was a smart move. Back in those days, to get into incense made sense since scents cents per stick was so low. By the time I was done trying to explain, I was so confused myself that I was having trouble counting to two too.
Just say 'no'
Take a simple word like 'no'. A Spanish speaker will know that the word 'no' is short, and is designed to quickly convey a message. In England though, where the English language was allowed to go bad, they don't know how to say no. Even an Italian speaker might take two syllables to say no, as their language is always a song, with some tunes being shorter than others. When the English say 'no' though, it could take them well into the evening to finish saying the simple word.
"Naou-oh-ewe."
Interestingly though, the word 'Kuh-now' (know) is pronounced 'no'. Why didn't the English ever learn to speak properly? One might go to England to ask, but just remember if you go there their 'they're' could actually be 'there', or it could be their way of saying there that they're giving up on trying to communicate with their neighbors.
I could go on and on, but English is the only language that I speak, and nobody would understand me. Making up new words, also known as 'chillowing', is allowed in English, and as I wrote in the title, the spippetry is becoming ubiquitous, therefore it's getting harder to right. Won knight this weak isle bee righting sum spippetries four ewe awl two sea watt pore righting mite look like in the future if the English language continues to deteriorate at this pace.
thanks for reading, and I apologize for the bad language
Funny, but oh so true.
And on another note, thank, thank you, thank you, for putting a paragraph above your opening pic, so I had something to read while the pic was loading. Doesn't anybody else get annoyed that, on nearly every post, they start reading and then the picture pops up, and you have to wait a whole few milliseconds, then scroll down and start reading again?
Oh god, yesterday I rambled and today I ranted. Sorry!
I knew there was a reason why I did that with the first paragraph, sometimes I put the image at the top, and something about it has always bothered me-- that's it! Waiting for an image to load.
I think on this one the plain phone photo of an old dictionary wasn't qualified to be the first thing that was seen, but now I have a whole new reason to precede the image with text.
Yay!
Thank you for making some more scents of the English vernacular we use on a daily basis. Such mis-use effects us all so dearly. Brilliant read, enjoyed it to the max. Such a grand way with words, and very funny, and unfortunately all so very true. Thanks for the creative take on it all. And I learned something, after your and @kiwideb 's discussion. Might try that. Then again, some or my titles are longer than a Veterinarian's arm, so maybe not needed, so nevermind...
O my gosh! I love this...it got me laughing out loud! I was about to look up the words 'chillowing' and 'spippetry'
... still don't get spippetry here without looking it up...going to have to look at it again, but I DO chillow! I have a few select words that I made up myself and use regularly in conversation. 'Snabbed' is one of them.
I couldn't resist making up a word which means 'making up words'. And spippetry, I don't know how to define that one either, I made it up with no plan at all.
I looked up spippetry and couldn't find it but I was trusting you on the chillowing...I think we are stuck with that one. :)
Nope, made em both up, and 'spippetries' never even received a definition. It's a 'make up yer own definition' word!
Ya got me on chillowing but I think I'm going to memorize it and add it to the other made up words in my vocabulary.
Howie read somewhere that the English we've been taught is referred to as Dog Latin in some elite circles. I remember when he mentioned this we were at a party, and several times I've thought to ask him more about it then forgotten. This article reminded me quite nicely, and hopefully by the time he gets off theh phone I will remember to ask what I keep forgetting...lol.
Apologizing for the bad language is quite a thing to take ownice of. Somebody should apologize for it, though I tend to think you are not that somebody ;)
I'd like to hear about dog latin too, I wonder if it's related to Sirius the Dog Star somehow.
My apology was not really an apology, I'll admit. It was an excuse to use English to talk about how awful English is, another of those self-referencing vortexes that amuse me to no end, little eddies which I tend to play in often.
Milestone post is finally up, phew. Also, you were tagged in an art contest post by @art-trail, which appears is being run by @paulobeneforti, I told him I would let you know :)
That's exciting to be mentioned there, and even requested to join-- I guess my computer doesn't show me when I'm tagged somewhere, or I don't know how that works. I have some art for this contest too, just snapped the photos today. We'll see if pictures of naked ladies is a sure way to win, or a sure way to lose an art contest. Actually it probably depends on who's judging it ;) Thanks for pointing me to it.