SOON ALL THE WORLD WILL BECOME POOR! GLOBAL WAR IS INEVITABLE! Very soon, the very big govercorporate bankers will start blocking the blockchain, chaining the miners, and mining your data. So far, the only thing safe to invest in is osmium becauses it's blue and shiny.
There needs to be something better. Luckly, I've created something so crazy that it might actually work. I call it ZITCOIN™: the banking logic built for the future. Because this uses the same logic that central banks definitely use, there's no way govercorporate bankers will stop this.
The basic monetary unit in ZITCOIN™ is a Zillion. Zillions only exist as an investment unit in user-created accounts called bubbles. Being completely decentralized, the value of a Zillion is relative to the number of Zillions in a local bubble. In order to make a transaction between two bubbles, Partially Uninvested Zillions (PUZs), purchasing power determined by cross-multiplying the rates of growth and decay of each bubble, are sent over the network. The PUZs are then converted to Zillions in the recipient bubble.
What makes ZITCOIN™ really unique is that bubbles can recursively exist inside of bubbles. When this happens, the derivatives of the growth of the sub-bubbles become Zillions of the parent bubble. This can also go the other way; an increasing or decreasing parent bubble will affect the purchasing power of the sub-bubbles.
Bubbles can be popped and cashed in at any time, but when that happens, but because PUZs, not Zillions, were traded between bubbles, bubbles that had transactions with the popped bubble will have their PUZ rate deflated to the same rate that they traded with it (because some of the PUZs they made Zillions out of is now 0). This will encourage users to share their PUZs with multiple bubbles and discourage monopolistic bubbles, but promote a giant, interconnected bubble, where no one is fully in charge.
I want you success!