Medical alert: CRYPTOVITIS

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Doctors and medical experts have raised the alarm at the outbreak of a relatively new "disease": Cryptovitis.

Analysis

Sufferers from Cryptovitis are active in the so called "crypto world". They trade real money for cryptocurrency (digital money). They then try to earn even more cryptocurrency by trading their cryptos on so called "exchanges". Cryptovitis was first discovered in 2009, but only afflicted a relatively small group of people. In recent weeks however doctors have seen an alarming increase in the number of people going to their family doctor with complaints. Some visits even resulting in hospitalization.

Leading expert in the field Dr. K. Now has this to say: "We could be looking at a full blown pandemic in a matter of days."

The cause or source of Cryptovitis remains a mystery, but an environmental cause is suspected.


Symptoms

- inability to think about anything other dan cryptocurrency for more than a few minutes

- compulsion to check exchanges several times in an hour

- feelings of strong anxiety during "Dips" (price of crypto drops)

- feelings of euphoria during "bull runs" (price of crypto rises)

- inability to spend free time on non-crypto related activities

The severity of the symptoms may vary from person to person. 

Cure

As of yet there is no known cure for Cryptovitis. Those afflicted will likely suffer for the rest of their lives. Although there have been documented cases of a few spontaneous complete recoveries. 

If you know someone with Cryptovitis, try to be as supportive as you can. When they talk about cryptos listen without interruption. Remember, it's not their fault.


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