The complexities of relationships can sometimes leave you wondering “what the hell?”
For those of you who have been in a relationship that has left you scratching your head wondering “What the hell is going on.” Then you will be able to relate to this blog.
To sum it up my best friend is caught in a Love triangle. He loves this woman like crazy but she is torn between home and wanting to be with him. What at first seemed simple has become a complex web. In his defense, no one ever plans on falling in love. Especially not us guys, you know it’s a word that exists but not one that we readily go looking for or willingly embrace. It just happens, before you realize it you are so in love with this person that nothing else matters in the world. I have heard it said that Love is a choice, you choose to love people or you choose not to. I beg to differ, if love was a choice then we could turn it on and off on a whim. I make choices on a whim at times so love cannot be a choice, if it was It would have saved me from a ton of heart ache. I digress so let’s get back to the story
The Triangle-
Have you ever wondered what the phrase meant “If you truly love someone you are willing to let them go?” For a long time, it was just a phrase for me, it carried no significant meaning. It was just something the old folk use to say when quoting there 50million and 1 wise saying. The true meaning of it does not become apparent until you have fallen in love. I’m not talking about that puppy love that we all go through when we think we are into someone. No this is that I can’t sleep love that has you up at night crying like a baby; that love that has you looking forward to the next day when you can see that person. To understand all that has occurred you first must grasp how deeply all the members feel about this woman. My friend, let’s call him Eric, is deeply in love with this woman. At the time, they met she was in a turbulent relationship that she thought she wanted out of. He was on the tail end of a long-term relationship that had been failing for a while. Initially I thought their relationship was one of convenience. They both had something missing out of their lives and found that void filled in each other. As his friend, I cautioned him about her being the rebound chic but that was never the case. He really cared about her in a way I had never seen in him before. (And we go way back to the days of Shell toe Adidas) I must admit they had one of those loves that when you see it you think oh my gosh I am going to be sick. The silly grins and the eyes, the eyes never lie and you can see so much in there’s. Had the met on different circumstances, in a different life time perhaps they could have had magic. Being the realist that I am I realize that overtime relationships change and living with a person is really when you find out if it can work. So, I was skeptical, I mean he was willing to give up a lot to be with this woman and she herself had a lot to lose. In the end, I felt that only a great deal of pain could come of this. To love that hard and unconditionally was going to leave my boy crushed. Try as I may to warn him of the impending doom he was not trying to hear it. His response was “It is better to follow your heart and see where it leads. You may get heartbroken but at least you experienced true love.” Well at least I warned him I thought. In the end, he is a big boy and he should be able to take care of himself. How did she feel? Well she was a range of emotions, she loved him but she still loved her man. In the beginning, she wasn’t sure what she wanted but in the end, I have come to believe that she wants her family to stay together. Despite her love for him, the family is what matter the most to her. Eric realized this and did not want to interfere, the last thing in the world he wanted to be was a home wrecker. So, he took the hard road of trying to let her go. “The Love of his life I must say!” He was willing to let her go because it made her happy. Now that baffled me at first, I was like Stand up and fight for your woman, show this woman how much you love her!! Despite my urging he stayed the course he sucked it up and stepped back. When he explained it to me I begin to understand the meaning of the phrase “If you truly love someone you should be willing to let them go” In the end all he wanted was for her to be happy at the expense of how he felt. “Wow” I thought what selfless love, and I hope I never fall into that!! Now that should be the end of the story you say…We can only wish, from this point on it get is a bit more complex. So, they stopped being together, they didn’t see each other anymore, nor did they talk about them. There was no longer the talk of their future together. They kind of reverted to a friendship. Yea the crazy love was always there under the surface but just never spoken aloud anymore. Again, this was against my advice, I felt he needed to go cold turkey and just do like Teddy Pendergrass (I think I better let it go...it looks like another Love TKO). His response was something I should have expected from a love-sick fool “I can’t deny her, I love her so much I just want her in my life in any capacity” So as they tried this new thing, no physical contact, no physically seeing each other, no nothing just an occasional Instant message an occasional Phone call. I waited, waited for the day I would have to pick up the pieces and help him recover. That’s what best friends are for, I mean I hope this will………. Sorry for the interruption
That was my boy calling, her man just called him on the phone........
To be continued…….