Impress your friends at the rehab clinic with these sure fire hits!
- What's the difference between a musician and a large pepperoni pizza? A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.
- How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? We have machines for that now.
- How guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One and a thousand others to stand in the front row with their arms crossed saying "I could do that."
- How many jazz musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and a hundred others to say they liked it better the old way.
- How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One and they wait for the world to revolve around them.
- How many deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Deadheads don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in the back of VW minibuses.
- How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sigh..(rolls eyes) You don't know?
- How do you get a guitar player to turn down? Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
- How do you get 2 guitarists to play counterpoint? Put the same piece of sheet music in front of them.
- What do you call a trombonist with a pager? An optimist.
- If you took the sound guy and the lighting guy and threw them out of a plane at 1000 feet which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?
- How do you know when the drummer is knocking at your door? The knocking gets faster and he doesn't know when to come in.
- How can you tell a musician is driving in the car ahead of you? By the pizza delivery sign on the roof.
- What does a stripper do with her asshole before work? Drops him off at band practice.
Feel free to add your own in the comments. Ciao!