I popped into town today for a coffee and a random browse around the shops to see if there was anything nice that I could buy with my hard earned steem dollars.
After picking up a couple of things I decided to pop into one of the bigger chain supermarkets and see if there was any shopping that was needed for the house.
Truth be told I didn't have anything in particular in mind but thought that if I had a bit of a scan around then perhaps something would leap out at me.
I stepped in the door of an international supermarket chain. There was a large security guard standing by the door, as I passed he glared at me. I nodded my head politely and mumbled something that sounded like errrp.
I could feel his eyes drilling into me until I turned a corner and the weight of his stare was lifted.
I had plenty of time on my hands and wandered aimlessly. In the vegetable aisle, I picked up some green things and red things. Hmm, I hadn't picked up a basket and my hands were full. Better go and get one, they were by the door. I walked over.
As I got near the door where the baskets were, the guard stepped out from behind a pillar.
Where are you going with them?
He barked, nodding his head at my fruity load.
Erm, to get a basket?
He grudgingly stepped out of the way. I put my items in a basket and once again commenced my shopping, shaking my head inwardly at the overzealousness of the guard.
A few moments later I was picking up some bread when I caught a movement from the corner of my eye. I looked up.
There! At the end of the aisle, the security guard was peering furtively around the corner at me.
I waved happily and shouted.
Hiya!
His head darted back out of sight.
I walked further into the store picking up the odd thing. I couldn't help but sense I was being watched but when I looked around there was no one there.
I was browsing the different coffees available when this time I definitely caught a glimpse of something off to my side. I whipped my head round eagle-fast. There he was, the security guard, furtively hanging about at the end of the aisle.
Peekaboo!!
I called.
His face contorted as if eating maggots and he pulled back from view again.
Eventually, I was almost finished my shop. I realised I had forgotten juice, so doubled back quickly on myself.
Boom!
I bumped straight into the guard who must have been lurking immediately behind me.
Is there some kind of problem?
I asked, my tone all spiky and sharp.
Just doing my job Sir.
What, following me about?
Yes, just doing my job. Alright?
I scrunched my face up the way I do when I realise the milk I have put in my coffee is out of date.
Righto.
I pushed past him, got my juice and headed to the till.
As I scanned my shopping at the self-scanning area, once again I noticed that same dashed guard loitering about watching me put my shopping in my bag.
I decided I had had enough. I paid, packed and headed for the door. On the way, I passed the male toilet. I paused for a moment and looked over my shoulder. Sure enough, there was my favourite guard peering suspiciously at me.
Excuse me?
I asked with a gigantic happy grin on my face.
Yes?
He attempted to look helpful.
I am just going to pop in here, you know... to do the toilet.
I winked.
As it's your job to follow me, I wondered if you want to come in and watch me do it, you know, the toilet?
My grin by now was radioactive in its intensity.
The guard spluttered and looked as though I had asked him to milk a bull.
I most certainly do not!
Oh well, sorry. I thought it was your job.
I smiled and walked off with a spring in my step. Behind me, I could still hear the guard splutter his outrage to anyone who would listen.
It was going to be a good day!
So tell me. Have you ever been mistaken for a thief by a guard in a shop? What would you have done in similar circumstances?
Let us know in the comments!
All pictures sourced from pixabay and in most cases subjected to various manipulations.
Authored by: @meesterboom
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Thank you!
thats a fun story
Hhhh funny
Sometimes you accidentally do things that excite some people
Thank God for your safety
good.
What an experience! I don't know how to react if this happens to me.
That is definitely one overzealous guard hehe but he is kind of right as he is just doing his job. The only time I have ever had the attention of a guard in a supermarket is when I walked in with my hoodie on , the guard dashed after me and signalled I pulled my hoodie down.
Oh Man :D :D
Same thing happened with me in a Shoping Mall Hahahaha.
Your way of writing is so so Impressive and your sense of humor is too damn high. I was about to sleep but your Blog awoke me up :P
Hope so you reached home safely :D:D
Stay Blessed, Steem On!
You're so nice for commenting on this post. For that, I gave you a vote!
Cheers! I try to write with a twist!
When I go to the supermarket I notice that the guard really looks at me from afar which bothers me alot considering that I was with my mother at that time when I was still able to walk.
F$%#ng Guard that is.
You're so nice for commenting on this post. For that, I gave you a vote!
Im sure security guards love giving people a hard time its very obvious that they have ego problems.
Absolutely dear! I agree. Absolutely.
Agreed!
When i go to the store, the guard always want to follow me around, he behaves as if i am the only person looking for sonething buy. One day i saw two girls came in the store and they were shop lifting until their underwears were full, but he was so busy watching me that he lost focus od the real culprits..
Hahahaha! This is another funny experience. I love this humorous part of your comment; they were shop lifting until their underwears were full. Lolzzz! Very funny dear. Steem on.
Bad guards!!
I'm sure he watched to many spy movies in his childhood ;)
Perfect:)
Really good.
he look friendly to me
Whilst I was down in town I saw a security guard for Boots detain someone who was thieving, and he got 'escorted' to a room.
A copper and a shopping centre security guard followed a few minutes later..
But I wondered what the legality of this was..
Can security guards detain people in the store against their will? Is that not false-imprisonment or something?
I actually think they can, they can citizens arrest or something. As long as the police get called. Still, it doesnt seem right to think you can get carted off to some room
:O) great gif
😂😂😂😂
hahaha no i have no any mistaken as thief from guards and it was your enjoable shoping there and you teased them so much and hope you felt free that time...and i hope to come back in home you thinked on it and laugh some when you feel the behaviour with eys from them with you
but one thing why there was security too much @adsactly
i always find your blog great,,,infromative helpfull ,,traveling,,funny,,also the the foody...good work on this platfarm for all of us, keep it up always
I laughed much later :O)
Thanks for the post @meesterboom. Very funny indeed. He should have followed you in there. Haha.
What an experience.
Mine is being mistaken for a girl while i was younger.
Yes, I was mistaken for a girl once.
My father’s office held an annual day for kids on Independence Day in which children of the office employees were invited to participate in various activities like essay and poem writing, drawing/sketching, painting, and many more. It was indeed a proud moment for my family and me when I was declared the second-prize winner in the under-10 years drawing category.
To our immense pride, the company invited all employees with family for a separate award function. I was eagerly waiting for my turn to come, where I expected to proudly walk up to the stage while hundreds of people would clap for me. Imagine my reaction when the host said, “And the second prize for the Under-10 Drawing Competition goes to Miss.......
I was dumbfounded. When the host spotted me slowly walking towards the stage in embarrassment, he said, “Oh sorry… turns out, it’s Master......... ” I never shared this story with my friends in school lest I be the butt of all jokes, and thankfully, few of my father’s colleagues’ kids attended my school.
Now, it’s a laughable incident. But as a 9-year old, it was easily one of the most “Kill Me Now!” moments in my life. Nice one @adsactly
Hahahah! Its funny now when you recall such memory right sweetheart? But I can somehow relate to the embarrassment you must have felt then as a little child. Smiles! Steem on dearie.
Ouch, that is quite the memory. When you are 9 these things stick with you!
It is not fun to be thought of as a thief, you managed to make it a funny story, time to change shops me thinks, vote with your feet and your $.
I gave you a witness vote, because you made me laugh.
Now that is a good idea. Vote with my feet!
Great account of your experience!
Well that showed them! hehe
@meesterboom lol. He should be in the secret service. He is wasting his talent as a security guard.
I wouldnt fancy that secret service guarding my country if he was in it! hehe
Lolzz! Secret service hun? Lolzz. He is just an overzealous guard that is good at stucking people. Smiles.
Except the guard kept been seen. If he was a "good spy" he would follow without been noticed!
"to do the toilet" got me.
:O)
It must be in the air. Last week I took my grandson to get him a bigger car seat. I picked up a few things and we went to go check out. I dislike Wal-mart very much already and normally I don't shop there, but I was short on time and Walmart was the closest store to my daughter's house. So that is where we headed. I don't know if you ever been to Wal-mart or not (I won't assume everyone has) they have "greeter" at the door they are also there to check receipts in the self check to make sure people don't steal. I get that, but I went through a regular check out and while I was checking out I noticed the "greeter" was watching us. So I am thinking cool I won't have to show her a receipt she watched the cashier ring up this car seat. I get to the door and instead of saying I need to check your receipt. She says Show me your receipt so I know you are not stealing that car seat. It offended me and I told my daughter I won't ever come back into this Wal-mart again, you need to go to Wal-mart I will take you to the other one, but for someone to watch their co-worker ring me up and then basically say she thought I was stealing was too much for me.
That is dashed offensive. I wouldnt be going back there in a hurry!
My thoughts exactly dear @meesterboom
That is unethical and absolutely outrageous. That staff should be fired immediately because he/she have no iota of human relation skill. Hummmm! Sorry Dear for that harsh treatment at Wal-mart. Steem on.
I spend less than $300 a year at Walmart. I totally expect rudeness when I go to one.
Wow! Wal-mart really have to start reorientating their staffs on how to behave to customers to keep them satisfied and interested in coming back also. Because these staffs we interract with on a daily basis is the face of Wal-mart we see and keeps in our memories. Wow! Cheers Sweetheart. Keep steeming.
What really came to mind in your story was ,how bad at his job the guard was he should really be inconspicuous so as not to be noticed watching ,well not so as it is blatantly obvious . When I used to work in a fruit & veg shop many moons ago the gaffers wife taught me that you should watch but not be noticed at least as much as possible .,How much repeat custom will that store get ,if the guard does not change his methods ?
He was real bad. Like bad comedy sketch bad! It was painful!
Often guards in stores or supermarkets behave abnormally. They are watching you closely creating sensations that you are to blame.
Your story is really funny. I like the description of the guard's face when his face was distorted as if he was eating a larva :)
But the most interesting thing was at the end.
When he distorted, that if you asked him to milk the bull - a wonderful and funny comparison :)
I often get electronics consultants. I understand that this is their job - but they are too intrusive and it will irritate.
In your situation, no one would have done better than you, this is 10 points out of 10 :)
I probably joked, but in a more modest manner
Thanks for the funny post, I liked it
Wowww! The best comment so far! Nice one dear. Keep steeming.
I am glad you liked it, thank you for reading! :O)
Haha, I guess the security guards can get a little bit weird at times! I think something similar like this happened to me as well. I was like 11 years old and I went to the shop. I wanted to buy some sweets but I didn't have a lot of money, so I was limited to the options. I simply couldn't pick what I wanted, so I continuously walked around the shop for like 30 minutes without picking anything. After a while, I noticed that every worker in the shop was staring at me and talking to each other. Then, even a security guard started to follow me around from a distance. Gosh, I was scared back then, so I picked up some chocolate and went to pay for it... Never did I spend more than 5 minutes wondering around a shop :D
Hehe that is a lesson well learned!
loitering :)😂 it’s happened to me a few times lols, but I do love having fun with them when I realise it’s me they are looking at or stopped at the door, it actually makes me feel good cause I’m a pretty honest person so hit me up all you want lol
I am very honest too. I think that is why it rankles so much!
The guard is just overzealous; he must have you pegged for a potential shoplifter and decided to watch you. If they have a CCTV, he could've done a more efficient job by watching via there :)
And no, have not had such an experience though I have seen guards acting all mysterious to a lot of other shoppers before.
I will have to start dressing more like a pantomime villain then :O)
That would definitely add a twist to the mix :)
I usually try a preemptive strike by finding the hidden security "eye in the sky", then commencing my over the top performance of adjusting the luggage that would make any baseball player proud. This is followed by the serious business of aggressive mining for nasal gold, and concluded with the brazen, inside of the pants scratching of the ass.
After completion of my performance, I've found the security detail allows me to shop in peace.
These are good tips worth remembering! :O)
'large security guard'. Lol.
I haven't really been mistaken for a thief in a shop but i was taken for a spy cos of the way i was dressed in a shop. I put on a very corporate look and i had a bluetooth ear phone on!
I dunno the management just came with a lot of serious questions like.. who sent you! Why have you been looking around!.. They even took my surprised behavior for pretense.
I didnt just know if they had a competition problem or something! It was so weird.
I was just lucky i had my ID with me. Would have been worse.
They must have been going through a corporate war with a rival!
Hahaha!
Haha this happens to us all the time! We are in and out of our neighborhood grocery several days a week. The "loss & prevention officer" as he's called wears plain clothes and spends his time "pretending" to shop but its painfully obvious he's stalking customers. Having young kids, my shopping time is often my only "me time", and time i have to find some quiet relief, so when i go i'm usually aimlessly wandering, picking things up putting them back, reading labels, and generally taking my time. Apparently this sort of behavior raises suspicion, because it never fails that Im followed just as you described. I've found the best way to combat it is awkward eye contact, big smiles, how are you today, and blatantly calling him out " catch any thiefs today?" That really ruffles his feathers cause he's in disguise haha. In any case i think you handled the situation smashingly :)
I will have to remember the catch any thief's today line!
hi @adsactly, what an interesting and funny story. i have two hypothesis that made the security man to be weary of you; one that you are skinny, (no offense if you are) two that you didn't look rich when went to the shopping mall.. (please tell me that my theories checked out. smiles .)
here in Nigeria, i have had such experience at games shopping mall, but not exactly like yours. i bought a gum among other things, but i opened the orbit chewing gum while still shopping for other stuffs , then when i got to the Cheshire to pay, the security guy was looking at me with the assumption that i might have eaten other things before now and not pay for them. it was so embarrassing , the look he gave me that day.
i like the way you reacted , its simply the best, "kill them with kindness". but i would suggest that you intro the "guard" to steemit so that he will be as happy as you are. (lol). nice story sir.
@arinzechukwu
You're theory might check out ;0)
really funny story. It seems that it wasn't about what the security was thinking you were doing but rather, because he might have been awakening your affection and you didn't realize it. Having you ask him to enter the wee-wee with you, might have been his dream, and yet, because you are mere strangers, he didn't want to hustle into a hit-n-run situation.
By now, you might've figured that this is a, not by any means harmful joke. I like the sentence structure and the story-telling a lot. It's just weird how the security was acting upon you.
Wish you good luck next time when you go shopping.
Lol, yes I got the joke. I am glad you liked the list :0)
Wow, sorry to tell you this but this is weird. I thought Adsactly was the author, now you (the original Author) are replying to me. And I'm not the only one mistaking Adsactly for the Author...
But thank you for the reply :)
:0)
😹😹😹😹 NICE!
hello my friend.. iam zulfikar from indonesia please help me winner this website...
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THE security guard was so eager to catch you for anything, I would probably make a fun of him.
My appearance usually grabs their attention so I get followed often. Thing of it is I know who they are because I used to work inmost of these placesbut I have a fullbeard and longer hair nowand they have no idea it's me. So usually I act very suspicious and keep them guessing. Then as I'm talking to an old workmate and they pass by within ear shot I say something to the other guy about the amateur store cops in there..... They turn and look and storm off.......all fun and games.....
The guard is protected by the property.😁
Good post @adsactly
Oh man, I hate it if people take their jobs, that extremely serious.. I mean come on! it´s a grocery store!
Not a museum with historic relics n stuff..
Reminds me of a moment I had with an sort of
authority figureof the public transport. I move a commercial sign out of the way. So that the stream of people wouldn´t get interupted by it, because it was upstructing the road a little bit.At that point he ran out of his cabin, storming out. Shouting that I had to put it back where it was. I was like
uhm.. sir. please just calm down lol. It´s in the way of people walking hereas he responded.it´s in the way of my sight! if I sit there I cant see the timelines of the metro!!and again I said: "Please, first just calm down. And maybe you should just stand up from your seat to check if it's that important"
Meanwhile random people were looking at our little fight, looking down on the "authority figure". wich made me feel better about the whole situation.
He sensed it aswell that he was acting in a bad way. So he stumbled off and ignored me.
Later I had to walk past his cabin. And I couldn't help myself to just give him a fast look and give him a quick smile. (Me claiming my little victory for remaining calm in the whole conversation.)
So yeah. I cant stand people taking their jobs to the extreme!
Yeah one day I decided to not use the shopping basket and just carry things with my hands and the look that I was getting from the guards even made me feel guilty
wow @adsactly nice post
fun down in town
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This is very true especially when you are all alone and you are the first person in the grocery, its like you said its like " the eyes of the security guard is drilled on you" like your the baddest person in the whole universe, and it ends up with you rushing up to buy the things that you need and just forget the things that you want! Hahaha! I think we all have this kind of "Security Guard Moments", and just thinking about it gives a tickle on our head!
hahaha niceee :D
true .. guards are a peculiar species. they wait till you park your vehicle, come out with keys .... then comes and tell you " YOU SHOULD NOT PARK THERE" it is their privilege. it is a joy for them.
good post
I support you until the end very nice post Amazing and beautiful story @adsactly
Is this what the security guard was holing for?
Lol, it could have been!
a fact more than funny, good post jejejj
as myself a grocery store employee. I have to admit that I greeted aggressively. I hope I do not face such a situation. who does not want to leave in such a situation. But let's not forget that. you guys are going to markete once a day. you meet the thief once. but this is the job of the security officer. He is constantly struggling with people. that means. Everyone inadvertently looks at ten judgments. I understand now. but if my lead comes, I will meet aggressively. But then forgiveness does not last long.
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Laughing my heart out over here. Funny story! Ooo mine. Very funny indeed.
Though I haven't been mistaken as a thief by a guard in a shop! But should that be the case, I did do what you did exactly. Lolzzz! Making a fool of the overzealous guard is the best way to solve the menace. Lolzzz! Steem on dearie. Cheers.
good
Really funny! hahaha... just doing he's job...
this makes me laugh... really funny...