Continued…
Just because we know some people to be natural about friendship doesn’t mean we should feel laid back and enjoy all the attention while we take their caring nature for granted. True friendship has no class barrier. You might not be able to have control of some sort, over who you fall in love with, but you have some level of control over who you choose to become friends with. Friendship is an intentional sailing ship, so your actions should be as well.
We should value friendship because most of the time, our friends determine how far we can go. A man would remain the same in 5 years, except for two things: the books he reads and the friends he keeps or has. Be intentional about whom you let into your space. Study their content before feeding it to your heart.
A friend of mine celebrated his birthday yesterday. I chatted him up to wish him a happy birthday. He was so excited and felt happy knowing I remembered. He went further and apologized for not even checking on me ever since. I laughed and I told him I totally understand. It is not about him reaching out, but about me being there for him at this key moment.
He has a family, he is always busy, so I totally understand if he forgot to check on me since because he has a lot going on too. We all know how a family can be so demanding that you hardly have time for yourself, coupled with work demands.
Friendship also requires a lot of understanding and that understanding should be given to those who actually deserve it. He has paid his dues, so he deserves some accolades. Hahaha. I know if nothing popped up, he would have reached out sooner than I did, so I can understand that.
We have a different kind of friends and we have different things that motivate people to be your friend. This is why you need to be deliberate about who you want your friends to be.
Having patience with them can come easily if we remember them based on who we know them to be; the good parts, and not who we now see them be; the changing part. So, when your friends complain to you about what you have stopped doing because they have been used to what you used to do; the good stuff of course, then it is only reasonable to quickly address it or explain IF that friendship really means anything to you.
To be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Power of true friendship:
As we get older, we're introduced to all sorts of different people. There are the people who will lift you up when you're down, hear you out when you need to explain yourself, and make you smile when you feel like there isn't anything left to smile about. There are the people that very obviously aren't good to be around; the type that parties too much, does drugs, and doesn't care about their future. Then there are the type of people that may seem to be a good friend, but are very obviously not. They are the type of people that talk about you behind your back, that are only sorry when they get caught, and give you two-sided compliments. They are the people that only pretend to celebrate your victories and accomplishments. They are the people who camouflage themselves to look like great, supportive friends, but in all actuality they are extremely toxic. Why limit yourself to these types of friendships when there are true, genuine friends by your side? There is nothing more powerful than pure friendship.
Have you ever been heartbroken? Who was there to give you advice that was good for you and who were the ones that were only thankful for the breakup because they got to be closer with you again? Have you ever had an insecurity? Who was there to highlight the insecurity and who was there to overlook it because they knew your real beauty? True friendship means supporting one another through everything, even if it means that you don't get anything out of it. True friendship is not creating drama just to have a good story. True friendship is understanding the other person's place and realizing that for once, maybe you aren't right this time. True friendship isn't just posting a picture on social networking sites to congratulate your friend's successes. True friendship is being by your friend's side the entire time they worked towards those successes, the good and ugly.
A true friend will only make you cry through laughter and happiness. A true friend will really encourage you to be the best version of yourself that you can be. They're the type of friends that aren't just around when it's time to go to the bar. They aren't the friends that only want to get drunk every weekend. They are the friends that are OK with staying inside and doing nothing, because nothing is always a blast with you two.
Having true friends and eliminating the toxic ones out of your life is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself. You will see that those friends that you thought were real, were also the friends that stunted your personal growth. You will see that life makes so much more sense when you only have people around you that truly care about you, that actually know when something isn't OK. Choosing real friends means that you're choosing happiness, success, and most importantly: love instead of animosity. The power of true friendships might just be one of the most powerful, most beautiful things we have in this world. Don't waste that.
Oh my world!!!. This is fantastic. This is absolutely amazing. Please, you should make this into a post on your blog and i would gladly resteem for people to see. I really love this. You hit the nail right on the head and what a fantastic comment i must say. We are blessed to have amazing people with great insights giving comments here, and you are part of them with this. Well done.
True friendship let go of their desires to be right and seek for peace. A true friend would rather be wrong and keep his friend, than hold on to his desire to be right. Good one.
Thank you.. ♡
Anytime. Thank you.
I know it will always get better, that my definition of your posts @olawalium.
The part one was good, part two is now better and I'm very sure that the part three would be great... Smile
As I was reading, I caught this revelation, Friendship can be broken into two.
Friend + ship.
Naturally, everyone has the ability to be a friend, but you determines who enter into your ship. Everyone has one... Smile
You will have an easy sail if you allow the right people into your ship, those that believes in your dream, those that are going in your direction. Etc
At time, it is always good to stop and check if the ship is not overloaded with those that are not going in your direction, because that can affect the speed of your sailing and determines your destination also.
Remember this popular saying that says
You are not different from the company you keep. A company of dwarfs would be dwarf while the company of giants would be giant.
Ensure you choose the best one.
Expecting the third part to be more epic.
Thank you in anticipation..... Smile
Uhm, you captured it well even with illustration, you have done a perfect elaborate lf the topic friendship .
I totally agree with you, we have to choice to decide who we wanted to be with and make friends, I don't think there is any intimidation in that. Deciding the person you wanted to sail with will always be the best. Agreed
Friendship without a mutual trust and friendship without a mutual sacrifice is meaningless. A friend is one whom you treat like your second family. A friend is one whom you are not shy to. A friend is one who you are not hesitated to take up any risk with.
your friendship is to be grounded on the undoubted trust and selfless sacrifice factors.
That's the point, since you are not doing anybody a favor by been their friend either are they doing you favour to be your friends too. It has to be mutual
Thanks for your kind words....
Absolutely. I really love the simplified form of this. This speaks volume. Well done. Offload them if they are not heading your way. You don't need a detour all the time. Perfect.
Thank you for this.
Clearly understood. A ship you are with your friend(s) and you're not going to the same place will sure capsize through disagreements. There is a place of understanding in friendship.
There is always a place for understanding in friendship...before they will through each other over board like Jonah hahahaha
Hahahhahahah thats funny.
👍Amos 3:3 ....lol
Like I said few days ago, those that are vulnerable will always be to one to get attacked When there is too much affection from one side, the person giving this much attention is bound to meet his doom, which shouldn't be, just because your friends always look out for you have now turn it to avenue showing lackadaisical attitude and neglect your own contribution.
You have to power to choose and decide whom you wanted to become friends with which is different from being in love since we don't always have absolute control over relationships but we have the right and power to decide whom we want to be friends with, I believe in this popular saying, show me your friends and I will know a kind of person you are, we should always be careful while deciding who to become friends with, choose a friendship build on loyalty and always look at your back if you realized you have been overstepped and taken for granted, you have to right to back out from such friendship before it hurt you to the extent that you won't be able to forgive yourself.
Mutual agreement will always go along way in building a perfect relationship when it comes to friendship, friendship is always cordial when we are still in our early 20s to 30s since legs haven't crippled in domesticity, once one have a family the intimacy is not always that strong again since majority of the time is always dedicated to one's family but true friendship always reach out to one another, in a situation whereby just one is always the first to reach out first and make moves is not always the best.
You are absolutely right on this, we must be able to account for all our action whether good or bad if we are to make friendship work out,....
I'm sorry and it won't happen again, I believe this will help a lot in keeping the friendship in good term always.
You have spoken well, again. Thank you so much for your consistency. You all are amazing. You make it expressive.
In my life, I have had friends like angels. At the same tine, I've had friends like demons. Its very true that if we don't choose our friends rightly, we get to automatically take whatever we see in such friendship.
Just like in the post about low self esteem, when you're in friendship and you think the other partner is doing you a favour by being your friend, then one is mistaken.
Friendship makes us or mar us. The key to either of the two is in our hands... Choice!
Thank you for this @olawalium and @communitycoin. You are blessings to many.
I am so happy we blessed you with this. That is the whole idea about this. Thank you so much for your kind words.
The few bad people we meet in life makes us appreciate the good ones when we see them. We need both set of friends, so as to exercise our power of choice and nurture the 'good ones' when we see them.
Thanks dear.
Ladies always keep the best of friends unlike men that keep friend base on his environment.
We can't not always avoid this, there are some friends who get closer when the going is good we call them a fair weather friend and we also have a boom companion who are always there and close enough to assist whenever there is need for that.
Ladies always keep the best of friends? That statement is relative, and it doesn't confirm the general consensus, so i am sorry, i disagree with that. We have all received our fair shares of bad friends, or opportunist friends, so no one has a higher percentage than the other. I said it is relative because maybe from the experiences you have seen, most ladies around you have better friends than the guys, but from my own experiences and stories i have seen and heard, i beg to differ. For some ladies, gossips bring them together as friends, and it is the same gossip that will separate them. For others, because they have common enemy, then they come together as 'friends' to tackle the 'imminent danger'. No one has better friends, having better friends is relative and it depends on how well you exercise your power of choice.
You are right brother. I totally agree with you on this. Brilliant thought always
Great insight from a great mind.
At every of our life situations, we always have choices to make....
Sure we do. Thank you
Sure we've all got friend, both those like demons and the ones like angels but you own your life so you have the choice of whom you wanna be with,either the demons or the angels
Poetry inspired by the post part 2
Another amazing poem. Simple and yet detailed. Bad friends are better than foe? Hahahaha. Let us not have o, hahaha. Bad friends are friends, disguising themselves as friends, and they will attack when you least expected; when your guards are down, but at least, with a foe, you already know you are under attack and you will be prepared because you will know where attack might come from.
We need to gather these poems and make another song o, enh enh...hahaha
Hmmm you hit a point there bro , sneaky friends are deadly.
Yeah I never stopped making and I’d make more .
Beautiful. We sure have the power to choose friendship. Loyalty is all that matters in friendship. This is nice dear.
Loyalty will always be the answer to true friendship, I'm reciting the line of this poetry, good enought, I enjoyed it.
Right from high school I am noticed most of male friends didn't have anything upstairs to contribute in class, all they used to talk about was how beautiful some girls are and how those girls would follow them home.
I wonder why they don't think of moving forward and face what their parents sent them to school for. These girls are winning, they've dominated to the who department as the most brilliant so had to stop moving with my male friends for some while and got many female friends
The different is clear, all the girls thought are about their education, they do recommends books for me to read and when it comes to caring they are still the best, although not all of them but those ones I move with and up till now they are my Best friends..
They help my career, I might have been a family man by now hasn't been I don't think of staying away from those my male friends cos almost all of them have been buying pampers before we even pass out of highschool
Friendship is about what you contribute towards life that helps in one or two ways, not just be with those ones that ruins future
I don't take friendship for granted,if I noticed you got impact in my life, I will make sure I do something in return
Hahahahaha the pampers part got me laughing. This is good, De-associate yourself from those who will make your journey longer and give more burden. You made the right choice.
It's good to keep friends and to keep good friends matter most.
What do we value most in choose friendship?
Be it friendship or any other types of relationship, I value the person (fully) I am in the relationship with.
And do you know why?
Qualities are not something that last forever, time change, situation may change and it might happen that what you valued most in a person is no more in him/ her. And I think you know what that will lead to. Hehehehe
But when you value a person, you accept them with all their qualities and their flaws, (yes) no body is perfect here, we all have some or the other flaw. Or you tell me who doesn't have?
Why don't we Look for a girl with the broken smile, and ask her if she is gonna be alright. And she will be loved". How about that?
If you are looking for qualities of a friend, I would suggest you to be rather a quality friend of someone who might need you.
Thanks @olawalium
am with you friend, quality are not that important when choosing friends, nothing last forever what you like about him or her today, you may not see it tomorrow
Friendship must have value, same with when you are dating a lady. The person should need You, Yes, but it goes both ways. That is why we talked about friendship being mutual. You should be able to be needed to each other because one way friendship isn't Friendship, we are all humans. You should be able to add value as much as you are receiving too.
Quality is not in appearance but in character. One important quality is dependability. When you know you can always depend on your friend. Humans have different qualities, so when one quality seems to be absent there are many others qualities in our friends that are present. If you really read through part one and two, You will understand this better. When our friend seem to loose his or her edge, it is our duty to remind them of their qualities and bring it back up. Friendship reminds, it helps, it nurtures. True friendship has no class barrier. Qualities are not in THINGS, but in character. If the character is real, it is hard to lose it but in case that friend does, fan it back into flame. That is when your friend need you the most.
Thanks bro
I mis the first part, but I will have to check later,
Friendship without a mutual trust and friendship without a mutual sacrifice is meaningless. A friend is one whom you treat like your second family. A friend is one whom you are not shy to. A friend is one who you are not hesitated to take up any risk with. A friend is one who you without having a second opinion jump to their support
A friend is one who you can call to your any need. And you know what these things can only happen if your friendship is grounded on the undoubted trust and selfless sacrifice factors.
I really love this, thanks @communitycoin, it's my first time here. Thanks @olawalium, this is really good write up by you.
This is really good. Love it.
Trust must be involved and should be earned and sacrifices must take place as you have said. We shouldn't do things when it is only easy for us. It requires lot of sacrifice. Gracias.
It's so true, your posts always have little teaching that at least is left to me, they always told me that if you want to get there quickly, go alone but if you want to go far, go accompanied, and they are such wise words, just as we have to have note that the friend of the whole world is not a friend.
True... To go far, we need friends to accompany us. We sure can't do everything by ourselves. No man is an island. Show me your friend, and i'll tell you who you are.
Absolutely.
If you want to travel fast, travel light. Let go of those excess baggage that might try to derail you. Quality over quantity. Thanks a lot for that dear.
Friends are very powerful people in our lives. They either make us or destroy us. Hence, we should be careful with the kind of folks we choose as friends. People we call friends should be able appreciate and criticise us without any bias. They say true friends stab you in the front.... Well that's true because they always want the best for us.
I love this. Taking caution and exercising our power of choice to determine who we let into our space matters a lot. Thanks for this.
Friendships are unique relationships in life because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into friendship. And not like other voluntary bonds, like marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure. You wouldn’t go months without speaking to or seeing your significant other (hopefully), but you might go that long without contacting a friend
Thanks for sharing @olawaium and @communitycoin
A lot of us don't put too much relevance on our friends.... Especially the close ones. Friendship is more than just knowing each other, it's like a mini manage and requires work
Requires lot of work. Many people take it with a pinch of salt. How can you take me like a pinch of salt and expect me to carry you like a bag of rice? Hahahaha.
Thanks a lot dear
Hmmmm I hope we find true friends who will not stress us out. We sure need loyal friends in our lives.
This is a wonderful piece. Friendship is a precious gift and as such, it requires understanding and care to keep it. Do not wait for your friend to be a good person; be to him a good friend and he'll automatically tag along if he really is to be a friend.
Its more blessed to give than to receive. We really need to understand that fact and our friendship will be better and more peaceful.
I love the conditional word there; IF. You will know who your friends are by the extent they are willing to go and by the efforts they are willing to put in. Thanks a lot.
The best friendship one can ever has, the friends like Christ and willing to sacrifice his time to make you happy, knowing your weakness, still close to you, saying it doesnt matter what went wrong in the past, but what you do in the future!!
PERFECT!.
Keep friends is good but we should know who to keep as our friend
Friendship is one of the best thing in the world which has no demand and no complaints between two.People always compare friendship to love and other dramatic stuff with but it is different from others.It consists Trust,care,love,kindness, understanding,Loyalty and Truth which matter a lot in any relationship and that are most valuable.
Thank you you just gave a clear and insightful meaning to friendship. It is intentional is not unconscious and we have a choice of who we become friends with. Thanks
We sure have choices to make. Unlike family that we automatically find ourselves in. We need to consciously choose right friends so we wont regret it later.
Thats just the fact, we all should choose who to take as friends
Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it.
Respecting each other and showing concern to one another really helps to build a better friendship. Visitation and constant communication also helps for a better friendship @Olawalium
Absolutely. Being considerate is key.
So many people takes friendship for granted, some tends to annoy you and even step on your toes at time.
The ability to maintain co-efficient relationship among our friends maters alot.
MORAL LESSON: Dont take advantage of your friendship with someone to do them evil. Be good to one another.
Kindly check out this post [ success tips: How to overcome the chanlleges of life battles and succeeding]
https://steemit.com/motivation/@orisfina/secrets-tips-to-making-all-round-success-01-patience-and-firm-vision-the-power-house-of-every-successful-man-or-woman
Hope to see you at my blog.. @orisfina
I hope you dropping your link on this page isn't about you trying to take advantage? I feel it is not right to drop it without it being requested for.
Thank you for your contribution, we should always strike a balance and treat our friends the same way we want to be treated. Thanks once again.
Dropping my link doesn't mean anything, I never forced any one to go to my blog at all cost. I said "kindly visit" which mean if you choose to check out what the person has to say, it doesn't take your audience away neither does it reduce your reward..
Lets learn to support each other, that's the only way this platform can grow.
Thanks for understanding..
If you are talking about support, you can get lot of that rather than dropping your link on another person's post. It is totally uncalled for. These are the type of people who try to boycot processes. It is a choice to click it, and it is a choice to not drop it. You don't need to take advantage of people. You need to learn that. Others might flag you, and that is my humble advice to you, if you try it with others. I know what it is like to start on steemit, and no one owes you anything. Make genuine friends, and not just friends who will upvote you. Learn.
Hmmm dont take advantage of others. Thats so true. Some friends only prefer to eat into you and not drop anything, not knowing that friendship shouldnt be one-sided.
True fact dear
If u got friends that treats me the way I detest, it's not a do or die contract, then I will have to avoid him or her. We all have something to contribute in friendship.
That's my believe also.
There is no need of killing ones self over it
I like your post, but if you dont mind, can i see an upvote from you and my fellow steemain, please upvote me
Dearie, I really advice you don't ask or beg for this literally. Just like in the post, friendship matters. You need to contribute well and anyone who appreciates your contribution will give you what it needs. This really helps dear
Ame tu publicacion 💕
I just followed you... Lovely post
I'm a phoneographer
Sure its a lovely post. Thats nice to hear
Lovely comment.
Life is sure better... With good friends actually. #smiles
Friendship is sweet, when it is mutual and the efforts are seen. Thanks for this.
TRUST WILL BE HAPPINESS IF YOU WANT TO BE PATIENT
Believe the test of life is only temporary. God will not give the test beyond the ability of His people. As long as you are willing to tolerate and willingly accept everything that happens to you, you too will be able to feel happy in the end. This is because no test of life is too long. Believe there is pleasure after difficulty. If you want to be patient, you will feel the sweet happiness. If you want to survive and not give up on the circumstances, a test of life as heavy as any you can pass. When you try very hard, do not forget to pray to God Almighty, because only the effort that accompanied the prayer that can change the situation.
Forgive me, but i am trying so hard to see how this is applicable to the topic we are discussing...