The picture about the "most dangerous thing in the world" is a good one. I have been subjected to a few fake friendships in the past and even though it was quite easy to walk away from I found out, some years ago, that some guy I was always excited to see and he seemed like he was happy to see me as well, was always talking trash about me when I wasn't around. That hurt. I stopped being friends with him and actually approached him about "why did you do that?" I mean, if you really don't like me why pretend?
It's something that kind of scars you for a long time after that, not because I am so vain that I think everyone is going to immediately like me, but because I was being genuine, and he was toying with me.
The thing about this particular person is that I kind of became "fake friends" with him out of pity because nobody liked the guy. I always try to prop others up when I can and was really just trying to find a way to help him. As it turns out he is this way with almost everyone and this is why people don't like him.
I think that he does this because he is insecure and this is how he tries to make more friends... what a terrible way to live.
Betrayal is the worst thing that a person can do to another and it isn't something you forget.
Am so sorry for what happened to you my brother, that is a really heavy experience, and I appreciate you opening up about it. You’re absolutely right, man betrayal cuts deeper when you’re coming from a place of genuine care. It’s not about vanity, like you said, it’s about being real with someone, offering trust, and then finding out it was treated like a joke behind your back. That kind of dissonance between someone’s behavior in front of you and what they say behind your back can leave a mark. It shakes your ability to read people, even if just for a while.
And you chose kindness. You went out of your way to extend compassion to this someone who others had written off, and that just shows your character. It says more about you than it ever will about him. But still—it stings. Especially when the person you tried to uplift turns around and uses that closeness as an opportunity to tear you down when you’re not looking. That’s not just immature, it’s cruel.
You’re probably spot on about the insecurity angle. Some people try to elevate themselves by pushing others down, hoping it’ll make them appear taller. But that never works in the long run, and it leaves them stuck in a cycle of shallow relationships and mistrust, it also explains why he actually doesnt have any friends or maybe if he had any, they probably have the same charater as he does too.
You did the right thing confronting him. That takes strength. It puts the mirror in front of them, even if they refuse to look. And even though the scar stays, the important part is that you stayed you—someone who tries to help, who chooses honesty, and who values real connection. Personally if its was me I usually just ignore people when I realise they are fake, I start distancing myself from them slowly by slowly, up to whem the connection dies away, I dont really think I have that energy or ability to comfort people like that these days, but I think because you had geniune love and care you did so.
I have too, passed through the same thing before and these days I have made sure I try as much as possible to avoid making the same mistakes I made before and this has heavily affected the way I form friendships these days. I guess its all for the best of my mental health. It comes first.