Explain your anger instead of expressing it

in #freewrite7 years ago

So today I walked into my bank with the intention of making a scene. I was so furuous. I was rehearsing what to say on the way because it was going to be the first time I publicly flare up.

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By the time I got to the bank I was pretty sure I had got my act together; crosschecked my facts with dates and figures and pushed the door open as though the door conspired with the bank to frustrate me.

This was my case: I had a students account that was to going to be changed to a current account (which incurs charges every month). I decided to rather open a savings account (had no charges) and transfer my funds to the savings account. THEN I FILL A FORM TO CLOSE THE STUDENTS ACCOUNT. I did just that; transferred the funds to the savings account and filled the forms to close the students/current account. This was in September 2016.

I come back 2 years after doing this (early in March 2018) to request for my bank account (because I wasn't using that bank much since after university so I just wanted to check my bank details with them before I make a deposit). After they hand me the bank account I deposit some money in that account OOONLY TO REALIZE THE STUDENT (NOW CURRENT ACCOUNT) was not closed: That was the account they gave me. And I was charged for about 3 months worth of current account fees instantly!

How come they didn't close the account over the past 2 years?!! Anyway, so long story short, I filled another form to close the current account (formerly student account) on the 3rd of March 2018. And I have literally called over 8 times on different days to check whether the account was closed. I MEAN DOES IT TAKE 14 DAYS TO CLOSE A BANK ACCOUNT?!!

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IMAGE SOURCE: https://www.123rf.com/photo_8492654_illustration-of-a-man-fuming-with-anger.html

. . . .SO YEAH, I WAS FUMING.
I entered the bank and was wondering where to start screaming; like an actor waiting to hear "action". I figured I will feel less like a lunatic if I found the banker who had been following up on my issue for the past 3 weeks . . then I could scream.

I found the teller and he was attending to an elderly man, so I sat down. Tapping my foot loud enough for him to notice. In my mind it was a drumroll; a prelude to what was about to go down. The man was being as slow at the sloths in Zootopia
(just in case you haven't seen it:


hope you get my point now)
So after he was done with the elderly man, I had already lost some steam. I was beginning to think logically and it was annoying.

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IMAGE SOURCE: https://mic.com/articles/160737/evil-kermit-meme-origin-how-hooded-kermit-came-to-dominate-social-media#.F97IBP41M
GOOD ME: "What do I really want from this encounter?"
ANGRY ME: "Forget what I want, I just want to give them a piece of my mind. What poor customer service and a waste of time"
GOOD ME: "Will that bring you closer to what you want?"
ANGRY ME: "Well these incompetent people . . . . I don't care!"
GOOD ME: "You do care. You know that right? Just communicate your anger, let the know why you are upset . . . .rather than just going on a runt like a toddler. You get nothing from that"

I was upset I had talked myself into a more informed approach. I sat opposite the teller with swollen lips; lips swollen all my anger. He called his managers and some other relevant people to get things done. After his checks he said they hadn't received his earlier mail so he sent it again so they could work on it.

"Ok, I came here with the intention of making a scene. Just wanted to appreciate where you are with my request first. Because this is frustrating. Do I have to beg my bank to close my account? Does it take 14 days to close an account? I will wait for feedback in 24 hours else you will see me here again and it won't be funny." I said this as politely yet firmly as I could. Then walked out.

I didn't get what I wanted there and then but I had made progress with my request. I had learnt the reason behind the delay and communicated my concern. All of which I may have missed if I had just turned tables over and screamed at random people (who don't know or care about my situation). I would have even had an uncomfortable time with bank security whiles at it. lol. All for a costly rush of testosterone? Wasn't worth it.

Your ego is not worth the loss uncontrolled anger can cause.
Explain your anger instead of expressing it.
You will be proud you did.

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Powerful message. Charlie you do all

This is such an insightful post. @michaelaffare.

Just a follow-up to this post. So about midday the next day (after I wrote this post), the bank actually closed the account I wanted them to close. So I got exactly what I wanted without just being angry but by communicating the cause of my anger.