Last night I went to dinner with friends and family, drank some wine.. and ran into pretty much everyone I have ever met in my whole entire life. That’s the beauty of a small town.. it’s hard to get away from people.
Anyways.. the other beauty of a small town is everyone knows everything there is to know about you - from that time when you were in diapers and cried in church, to every single one of your failed relationships... and everything in between.
So running into people can really go either way at times.. and last night it seemed to be catchup on my failures, lovely.
My personality type is an interesting one (I wrote about that once), and it means I’m extremely hard on myself, take things entirely too personal and seem to fret on stuff.
So after getting home and reflecting over what seemed like not only my lifetime of failures but just small, pointless failures over the last few days.. I was in one of the moods where my mind wonders and I get lost in thought. Generally when I experience this I find myself pulling out my camera to capture a mood..which helps me work through my thoughts and also push my limits.
and that was also a failure.
Yep that’s right.. I couldn’t even take damn self portraits, that’s the kind of fuck up time I was having. I had a vision in my head, and I could not achieve it.. and that drives me crazy.
Sometimes life has a funny way of kicking you in the ass until you snap out of it.. and well that’s what happened.
After getting quite annoyed with the lighting, my face, my camera, that dumb look and trying to figure out why I couldn’t even take a photo... I said fuck it and got out my music and blasted my favorite “fuck it” song... and then put my camera on burst mode and just started shooting my fuck it mood.
From a photographers stand point, they ain’t good, ... but mixed with some shittastic editing to give the retro style I had envisioned in the beginning.. and that lovely fuck it mood... I think they tell a story.
Yes, I’m a failure - god I fail like multiple times a day.
I make mistakes - some big and some small.
I disappoint people - no one more than myself.
Etc etc etc ...
And at the end of the day I can fret on those things and let them define who I am, or I can say fuck it and let them drive me to be something better.
I choose the latter.
Failures are part of life, it’s how we grow and become better versions of ourselves. Do not let them define you, learn from them and, then just let them go.. fuck it... and go be the person you were meant to be.
No one is perfect, and if they say they are.. they are fucking liars and probably more screwed up than you are 😉
Embrace the broken, because those cracks are how the light gets in.
Much Love,
Justine
Edit- for those who asked in the comments: My go to “Fuck it” song -
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ
Rage Against The Machine - Killing in the name of
And have used it another freewrite, one of my favorite actually -
No ones perfect and we all have to make mistakes to know what’s right or wrong for us.
Just keep it rolling! ❤️
Btw I don’t think your portraits are a failure at all! I like em 🙂
Thank you very much and very wise words ❤️
Best of luck! <3
These wouldn't be out of place on your own album cover if you ask me.
Photography isn't about technicality, it's about emotion and these are full of it.
Haha! Well if I somehow discover my musical talent and join one I’ll have to use it as the cover art 😜
Thank you.. that means a lot from you.
The second photo is great though. A simple photo that I bet would look even better in black & white. Frame it and hang it on the wall. Just do it.
Thank you 🙏 that is actually the one I like from them set and had been playing with it in black and white. I think I shall frame it 😉 thanks for the push ❤️
Photography wise I agree with @hitmeasap and indeed B&W version would be even better!
...But I’m a sucker for a floppy ear that sticks out between the hair from a girl😍😍😍 so number three would be my winner for sure!
Does make me wonder what is your favorite “fuck it” song🧐
Posted using Partiko iOS
Thank you ☺️!! I’m going to play around with the black and white.. I don’t think the lighting was ideal for it but may be able to do something in the editing.
Haha, I love that you have a thing for ears 😜 and I edited the post to include the song 😉 Thanks for the love!
My body is physically confused by this.. I’m uncomfortable and not sure how I feel 😂🤣 it’s like I’m confused of what emotion I’m supposed to feel. Lol love it. Thanks for sharing!
3rd pic. A whole bunch of emotion in one look!
Thank you.. that one really stood out to me. I dislike the edits and will probably play with it a bit as the lighting was very dim in that one.. but I couldn’t trash it due to the emotion that seemed to exist there. Funny how some just stick with you.
Good to hear from you and hope you are well ❤️
Your face is missing from dat.
Lol that seems fitting 🤣
Thanks.. I forget it prefers landscape ones. Cropped one and threw it in as the preview. Thanks for the heads up!
I did think it had a touch of irony with the title "failed self portraits"
It was so ironic I almost left it 😂
You could have at least told us what your favourite 'fuck it' song is!
When I'm (often) 'that side out' I play the Ramones cover of 'What a Wonderful World' wound up to 11 and on loop whilst pogo-ing around and singing.....then afterwards when I'm worn out.....you won't believe it, but the world really is wonde.............
No, it's still the same shithole as before but it suddenly doesn't matter and I feel better!
You'd have made a great extra on Dukes of Hazard! just sayin'
Have a wonderful weekend, 'not normal' is the new black!
Lol.. I edited to include it 😜
I love that Ramones cover!!! I find when I’m frustrated I lean towards harder rock.. but man.. those songs that just give you faith back in humanity just can’t be beat sometimes.
Love this ❤️❤️❤️
Hope you have a good weekend as well! 🤗
Amazing shots those looks really great
Thank you!
Hello!
This post has been manually curated, resteemed
and gifted with some virtually delicious cake
from the @helpiecake curation team!
Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
Keep up the great work!
Manually curated by @scrawly.
@helpie is a Community Witness.
For more information about our project,
please visit this month’s UPDATE post.
Thanks Scrawly ❤️🤗
This is certainly a failure... a failure that you don’t take more photos! Lol
I like this post, we should tolerate more of our failures, accepting that they happen from time to time, and then use them to better ourselves, like what you do here :).
I agree and hope that message came across - none of us are perfect.. we should embrace that. ❤️
I Like that RATM song Too..........You are not a Failure @justineh
Such a good song! And I only become a failure when I stop trying... I can fail repeatedly, and I’m ok to say that.. but as long as I learn and grow from it.. I’m still winning ❤️
Success is quitting your corporate job to pursue life on your terms, making homemade herbal products, and appreciating the best band ever in the history of the entire snowglobe.
"You've got more power than you think... All the pain and the flames made you stronger..."
Well I appreciate you positivity, even though I’ve not quite succeeded at any of those things, yet. But hey, each day I’m a better person then the last.. and that’s about the best we can ask for.
speaking of snow globes..
Thanks for being you.. and for the best snow globe ever!! ❤️
The globe doubles as a crystal ball. I see many comfy flannel nature photo walks in your future. Oh, and if you find a ring, I beg that you keep it safe in your hobbit house or it'll summon the troll wraiths on llamaback.
Congratulations @justineh! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
@c-squared runs a community witness. Please consider using one of your witness votes on us here
i suck at taking selfies all the time, so you are ahead of me :D
not bad for bad selfies
Oh man self portraits are hard!! But to be honest it’s a really great practice for not only self confidence but for photography as well... tripod and a remote are all ya need.. and I’ve seen your photos, they are stunning!!! 😍
for that you are right. i had a really short period of time trying to make selfies, i need to do it more.
thanks
I wrote a post about being failures willing hostage (me, I mean) and I I am. Failure can be good...
Anyway, I'm curious what made the diapered- you cry in church but assume it was religious fervour...And those failed relationships...Their loss. Now all those failed portrait pictures...As if they're failures. Pictures, even bad ones of a person, just capture a split second of life and don't define the whole. Who cares if a photographer picks the shit out of it. Fuck 'em.
Pic one: Legit
Pic two: Legit
Pic three: Legit
I think you see where this is going. In case not...
Pic four: Legit
So, thanks for sharing your legitness (yep, that's a word now) and I hope dinner was nice, and your weekend as a whole is/will be.
P.s. I wrote in that post I made...
"Best way to succeed more: Fail more"
It's legit.
x
Posted using Partiko Android
Love that and completely agree. Failures make us push ourselves more and eventually achieve more as well. ❤️
As far as the crying in church thing.. knowing me it was probably because someone wouldn’t give me a snack.. I really love snacks.
Thanks for making me smile repeatedly with this comment ❤️
You're welcome Justine and I have to agree with you wholeheartedly...Snacks are awesome!
#snacklife
#handsoffmysnack
#gimmesnacks
Posted using Partiko Android
I like them all, especially the one where you are looking right at the camera.
Great choice of "fuck it" song.
Thank you.. that’s sort of my favorite too.. seems to be a good “fuck it” smirk 😏
Thanks!!
photos are great...looking good Justine. Theres definitely emotion there but what kind i have no clue...open to interpretation hehe
Hey thanks! Yes I do sort of love that what the emotion is is sort of up to the viewer and many will see completely different things. One of the things I love about photography.
If I would listen to others, my whole life would be a failure... I just can't see that myself, which is a failure in the eyes of others, again! Ha :smirk:
BTW...
Love that ❤️
Based on my so far short experience with self-portraits, a "fuck it" attitude seems like a very good one to take :P
And a good "fuck it" song choice 👌
I like the retro touch you have with the portraits.
Thank you, I appreciate that. And I totally agree, it seems the key to self portraits is to stop stressing about the details and just shoot. 😉
This is one of the great example of candid photography. Great shot.
Thank you!
”F—k you, I won’t do what you tell me!”
Sounds...accurate?
(Great song choice, by the way. A 90s classic!)
best lyrics every right?? I feel it’s quite fitting in many situations. 😉😜
Great post. We're all broken tea cups but we can put ourselves back together with gold,
with those magic words fuck it
I was inspired by your photos, I like the beauty of them.
Made this:
Thanks for the post.
Wow!! Thanks swoop! I love that 🙏❤️
are you fishing for compliments? I think you look fantastic in all of the photos :) Of course if you are referring to them being bad from a pro photographer point of view I don't know a great deal about that. Great "fuck it" song by the way... one of the best
Lol 😆 no! I swear I’m not... and thank you 😊
Just yes from a technical standpoint they are not great.
One of the best songs ever!! ❤️
Thanks for your downvote of my post with my own pictures. I would like to point out that the use of images from the internet can be prosecuted. this is a crime. before you downvotest others you should first be correct yourself.
you used the photo here https://steemit.com/newsteem/@justineh/my-vote-doesn-t-count-anymore-let-s-change-that-warning-opinions-enclosed
The downvote on your post is for abusing bid bots... go somewhere else to complain.