Freewrite - Bamboo

in #freewrite7 years ago

Across the street from my old friend's high standing house was a deep bedded bamboo forest.

High standing house? What do I mean?

If you stood at street level his house, and the lot that it was built on, was probably 30 feet higher than your eye level. I've never seen anything like it again but the street itself ended in a stream of wooden railroad ties.

These railroad ties were stacked one on top of the other so that street ended in a vertical drop. As you can imagine, it was not a street that connected to the others.


Source: Pixabay.com

When you stood at the edge of his land, on the top railroad tie, you could look down on the street below and see the cars passing as though they were tiny versions of themselves. It was pretty neat.

You could also see what existed on the other side of that street. There were a variety of different things, but one thing that really stuck out was what appeared to be a small forest of bamboo.

One day when my friend was not home I decided that I would cross the street to see what the bamboo forest was all about. I thought that it would be a very shallow forest. In fact, I thought maybe it would be just a very small outcropping with a few pieces of bamboo surrounding perhaps some mud and grass.

It was not.

Once I pushed the few pieces of bamboo aside and stepped into the forest it was like looking into a magical wonderland. I couldn't believe how far I was able to walk inside the forest. It felt like I had walked for almost a mile. Not an ounce of the outside world existed in here.

I walked, and walked, and walked.

Finally I found a place where I could sit down. It was a small semi circle of leaves with a barren floor. I'm not sure what caused me to do this but I decided it would be a good idea to start digging in the soft dirt that was nearby.

I dug, and dug, and dug some more.

To my incredible surprise, I felt something metal with my two front fingers.

A watch. A gold watch.

I was too young to know anything about brands or what kind of things you really look for in a gold watch but I knew that it was valuable.

So what did I do?

I buried the watch in the same hole that I took it out of it, and replaced all the dirt making sure it was well hidden and dug in tight.

That watch must have belonged to somebody, I thought. They will likely want it back. Besides, finding buried treasure is pretty cool, but somehow in my mind I knew it belonged to someone else and I wasn't about to take this beautiful forest and turn it into something terrible. So I left it there.

I visited the forest one more time after that, and then never returned.

Is it still there today?

I have no idea. I might decide to drive by there pretty soon though to check it out.

I'm curious if the watch is still buried.

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It sounds like a magical forest!!

It seemed like one.

You have a nice informal writing style, @jeezzle. I came here from your previous comment on Whatsup's thread and I have to say that I'm impressed. Your story is pretty fluid and immersive.

There is one sentence that is a bit strange somewhere. Let me find it.

If you stood at street level his house, and the lot that it was built on, was probably 30 feet higher than your eye level.

It's easy to get lost in this one, but I'm not a native English speaker, so it could perhaps be that. However, I do choose to simplify a bit those structures to ease the reader's eye into my narration.

Thank you for leaving me a reply, even if you deleted it for some reason. I'll read a few more of your stories. And if you do end up reading the stories I made, I'm looking forward to reading what you think about them.

Yes I noticed that it got deleted, but I'm not sure how. This story is a freewrite which was created by @mariannewest. Everyday she makes a prompt and you have to write a story based on it. You're supposed to write a story in about 5 minutes but it usually takes me about 10 minutes to write mine. That is why the freewrite stories appear to have a more casual style than my other stories.

I'll read some your stories in just a little while.

I've done some freewrites. In fact, I've gotten some nice upvotes on some of them. I love doing freewrites, but nowadays I've been using my own prompts and my own timings.

But in Marianne's, I used to do exactly 5 minutes because I felt like the purpose was to exercise restraint. Everybody has their own purpose when they do them, I guess. Some are trying to escape the writer's block, others just like community stuff :)

I'm writing quick right now because I'm about to make another story. I leave you to go write that one!

I do the freewrites almost every night although I'm also currently in the middle of two fiction series. I tend to write chapter based stories that are about 5 to 10 chapters long. There is one that I'm working on that is probably going to be about 50. I look forward to reading your story.

great post. may I give you a addition to describe about situation deeper?

When deeper and deeper I walk into the bamboo forest I heard some sound as if It called me
when the wind blows slowly heard the creaking sound from behind the bamboo on my right and left
I caught glimpses of the leaves moving slowly. the more I watched the bamboo leaf resembling fingers waving to invite me to come closer.

I like it.

thank you.
i like your plot and your story. It's a kind of advanture. you tell with crispy word. buiding of the story can be understand every reader.

Thats really a good story of the day..

Thank you.

I like to read your stories. Gracis for writing quality material

De nada.

finding buried treasure is pretty cool, but somehow in my mind I knew it belonged to someone else and I wasn't about to take this beautiful forest and turn it into something terrible.
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@jeezzle sir!! wonderful thoughts!! nice story indeed.

Thank you for your comment.

Nice post

Thanks.

 7 years ago  Reveal Comment

Cool.