I feel as if I only ever write about the darkness in my life. I write about anxiety, depression, and loneliness. I write about these things when I should be happy, and when I truly am in a good mindset. I write about these things when I should be writing about all the great wonders in my life and about everything completely wonderful that has happened to me in just the past year. I should be writing words of encouragement and poems of love and happiness to both myself and anyone who will take time to read them. I have people who love and care about me. People who I love in return. I am okay. I am happy. I am content with my life. Why should I not be?
Why is it, however, when I look inside myself I feel as though I am running in place? Why is it when I sit down to write, the only thing that flows out are poems filled with suffering, loneliness and of tension? When I sit down to write about my life, I, in the moment of creation, forget everything good and wonderful that has ever happened to me. My writing does not match my soul. I am so young, why must this be the only thing on my mind? I should be looking to the future and running towards my goals. I should be holding tightly onto the ones that bring me up but instead I clutch onto something unknown to me to bring me back down.
Thanks to @mariannewest for this freewrite!
Check out my most recent short excerpt, Defining Worth. https://steemit.com/writing/@emms/defining-worth-an-excerpt
That was, pretty real. I think most people have some darkness, big or small that tends to be let out in different ways, since it can't be let out especially in front of those you care for.
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There are so many whys in our life which will remain unanswered. Sometimes to stay unanswered is a blessing in disguise too.
Whether you write poem of sadness or poem of happiness doesn't depict who you are. I, for one, love touching sad story too, but every single day, I still need to choose to be happy.
Perhaps deep down in your soul you are searching for something to fill the void? I don't know. And perhaps the flow was due to the past you had gone through but still the future is a whole piece of canvas loaded with freedom for you to write it with joy element or paint it with colours. Hugs.
Because you care. It's a good thing, although it often brings sadness. Sadness is not unhappiness. Accept and then assert yourself.
I guess we're all inclined to write about ourselves and our depths. I shared a quote a few weeks ago in a series of thoughts that I paused for a while until I have the energy to continue.
Here it is:
'What is most personal is most universal.' - Carl Rogers
I know the feeling, when I was younger all my drawings were also very dark, even though I was actually quite happy in my life! I think it's fine though, it's a way to get out the dark emotions and express them so they don't stay inside and contaminate the soul. It's a kind of healing!
Now though, I sometimes find myself sharing too many happy pictures and writings, which makes my life seems perfect from the outside, while it's not that glittery in real life. Kind of the opposite!
Really great freewrite by the way, and good to reflect on these things!
I don't know about you, but writing is like therapy for me. Writing about all the bad crap wading around in my head seems to somehow let it free... like, it somehow allows those bad/negative thoughts to be released onto the 'paper' and then I can let them out of my head.
Writing/venting/pouring my soul out with the written word ALWAYS makes me feel better.
I hope you can find a way to let it just be a release to you as well.
I also have a harder time writing when things are going really well in life, because I tend to want to be DOING instead of sitting and writing. That's why I try to set myself goals and write about people/things that make me happy. Sometimes that only happens on things like birthday letters for my kids or on my anniversary, but I'm trying to get better about it.
The best thing about your writing is that it is REAL and you are so good at letting the words flow.
Well, for one, "should" is a dirty word 🤪 there only is. As my English teacher always said, the happy things do not make good writing.
So there, you are a good writer. Write about the dark stuff and live the happy stuff - way better than the other way around.