Here's my Day 144: 5 Minute Freewrite: Monday - Prompt: frosting a cake

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Frosting a cake can be hard.

It's a daunting task to many. I was one of them. I would agonize over the dreaded birthday's. I felt like I had many, many people to impress. My step daughter, daughter of my ex husband was my world. Not saying my stepson now isn't but she was... my first... my baby girl. I don't have any of my own, at least not as of yet. I hope to one day. But as of right now not... She was my first. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of that little girl. She will be 12 this year. It kills me inside to think of her....

Every year for her birthday I would go above and beyond.

No matter her theme, she would get a birthday cake to match. I would agonize over it, day in and day out, I would make sure she would have the cake of her dreams. As far as three years old. Her last birthday cake was the least of what I did. A simple cake because we were traveling with it, but I still agonized over it.

I love my step son.

He is my world, but that little girl... I hope she still thinks of me as I do her. It was out of my control. If I had it my way, she would still be in my life, I would still have her, teach her, guide her through life. From 2 to 9 she was everything to me. And now... I'm not sure she even remembers me and that kills me inside. She is and will always be a part of me. I miss her so much... But I will not forget every day, every minute... her laugh, her smile, the way she said my name. I will not forget my little girl.

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