I don't think I've ever experienced freedom like that - you ride/ rode horses too ? - but, then again, I grew up in Holland and we're different people.
I myself am also always searching for some kind of freedom and, I guess, in the end, the freedom needs to be found on the inside. Part of it is probably alone time/ space but I also know from experience that being alone too much isn't freeing at all. I guess it's also a lot about letting go but that's alsways so much easier said than done :>)
Anyhow, I don't mean to give you any advice, just rambling a little here. Let's keep breathing. I realize I often forget that that is the easiest, healthiest and above all cheapest medicine to feel better and freer' :>)
And talking about Matchboxes, do you remember this song? I bought it on a CD single back in 96 or 97 and played it a lot...
Matchbox 20 - Push
Have an awesome day! :>)
xx