This is my response to @sagescrub's challenge:
https://steemit.com/freedomchallenge/@sagescrub/freedom-challenge-2-what-is-holding-you-back-from-feeling-more-free-sbd-to-3-winners
In my old life, the answer's to this question would have been something along the lines of:
-Fear ( fear of failing, fear of trying something different, changing, the unknown.)
-Ego (what will others think of my crazy way of doing things)
-Limiting beliefs (I'm not strong enough, smart enough, important enough, powerful enough)
At this particular phase in my life however, the biggest things holding me back from feeling more free would be the immeasurable responsibility of full time Mother, and Wife. Please do not get me wrong, I chose this life, and I love my family more than words can express but I will present some points that I hope anyone can glean some insight from, and I welcome the wisdom and experiences of others who have been in my situation.
For those of you who have never experienced the life-changing miracle that is parenthood, let me explain. Before having children, you are free to do with your time whatever you please. You take time for granted, you squander your free time. You may be wasting your life at a job you hate to make money, to buy things you don't need. Maybe you are lucky enough to be living your dream, and fulfilling all of your goals, if that is the case I applaude you 👏
Before having children I was a wanderer. I worked long enough to make a bit of cash to go on my next adventure. I went surfing in Tofino, I swam at a spring fed lake and fished in Northern BC during my summers. I went to the East coast of Canada to tour around with friends and train horses. I traveled to the Bahamas. I planted gardens and lived off only what I grew, hunted, or gathered. Ecclesiastes 1:8 "All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing."
I loved life, and was overall content, but i was alone. I felt lonely and, like all young people, was looking for love.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour. 10: for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. "
Enter the next chapter of my life. I am the 4th of 6 children. Coming from a big family I have always wanted kids, and a family of my own. I was the youngest for 7 years so I got the qualities of youngest child (care-free, happy go lucky, outgoing). At the age of 7 I was blessed with a younger brother, and another brother when I was 9. So I've got some middle child qualities as well, and had some experience with child-rearing.
Going from wanderer with no responsibilities, to the other extreme, mother with all responsibility and limited freedom, has been one of the hardest transitions I've ever made. I know that kids grow fast and this phase of my life will not last forever. Being a parent has shown me the strength I have within that otherwise may have gone unnoticed. It has forced me to live entirely for 3 other people, to put others before myself. Parenting has given me an appreciation for time, and freedom, that I have never experienced before. I will never squander time again, as long as I live. Every free moment is relished, enjoyed to the fullest.
I now have 2 new people in my life that I would die for, unbreakable bonds that will last a lifetime, I hope. People I can share the joys, accomplishments, as well as tragedies, and hardships of life. Popular magazines will portray kids as a financial burden, they stress all the liabilities of children, but I would contend that I have never been more well off, financially, emotionally, spiritually.
In closing, I hope that anyone planning to have children isn't discouraged by my musings. Yes, kids take all of your time. I have married friends who are "waiting for the time to be right" let me tell you, there is nothing convenient about having kids, they interrupt every area of your life. However parenting is the most rewarding, worthwhile thing you can do in my opinion.
"Whatsoever thy hand find to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither thou goest" -Ecclesiastes 9:10.
Never let any vain limiting beliefs hold you back from what you are meant to do, our time here is short, use it wisely!
Ecclesiastes is my favourite book of the bible, I encourage everyone to read it's wise proverbs!
This picture is worth a thousand words, tired, crazy, worn out (my kids hate cameras hence no good family picture yet..)
Hey @bthebest7 thank you for participating in the #FreedomChallenge!
Wow, what a heartfelt story! I am not a father so I cannot relate, but I can believe the immense responsibility that comes with parenthood. Thank you for the insights into the challenges of freedom that comes with obligation to family. I am definitely not discouraged for having kids, but your insights help understanding the realities.
As a new mom of 7 montg old twins, I can relate. Most days, they even dictate when I can sit down for a meal. Finding balance, time to myself, time with friends, and even time for chores has been a huge learning curve. And just when you think you figure something out it changes. But they will grow and spread their wings, looking for freedom of their own one day. So for now, patience, patience, and more patience. -Aimee
You are the ultimate superhero! My kids are 18 months apart and even that is too close. I hope you have family close by, I'm 1800 km away from my mom. The other grandma is close by but it's not the same. I think kids can teach us patience like nothing else. I've calmed down about 70% since my first baby lol.
Wow! Your mom is so far! I survive because of my mom, she comes to help 2 to 3 times a week. But I am no hero, I lose my cool a lot more than I am proud to admit. Kids have been my greatest test of patience and I am learning, growing and becoming a better person for them, because of them. Stay strong mama! -Aimee
As a single father of a 23 year old, I relate. I think I might be misunderstanding your comments on my #freedomchallenge post, because I find your perspective here to be about voluntary actions limiting your freedom, while mine is about topics that are enforced through coercion under the threat of force.
Because of this, I don't understand your comment to me. Your reply seems to belittle my reasons, while yours are actually voluntary choices.
I would never belittle you. Sorry it's such a complex topic and hard to get my thoughts across in a way that makes sense. I was simply pointing out that there are answers to this problem of "coercion and threats with force" there is always a choice, like I said you can refuse to identify yourself and claim to be a Man, as opposed to a "PERSON" however this has to be practiced in every area of your life, you can't claim to be a Man and then go and file or beg for ID to open a bank account. There are ways around the system that most people will laugh at as ridiculous, but nonetheless there are people doing it! I am a supporter of any man who is attempting to exercise his rights, and willing to spend time in jail in order to do so. I have great respect for that!
In America you are required to have an ID on you at all times and must identify yourself. Anyone that gives advice as you quote above has no idea of what they are talking about.
The choice is, do as you're told or be handled like a caged animal. That is not a choice, it's a threat of violence to force compliance.
A choice is when, regardless of the options you get to leave on your own accord. When you are asked to ID yourself by an authority figure, either choice you make can result in the same consequence. It is an illusion of choice, not a true choice.
Many different influences and experiences help to create perspective. Some perspectives are true for a period if time, but are not actually true.
If you choose to break the law and say it doesn't matter, it's a true statement until reality hits and it then matters.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vXdpa6wklpI
This guy is let go because he didn't identify himself plain and simple, no name, no contract. Embassyofheaven.com I'm not saying it's easy, I'm not saying there is the same outcome every time, but, what's the alternative? Comply and sit like toads in boiling water, until it gets worse? As for me and my house, we will serve YHWH. There are victories, I plan on doing a video series of winning court cases that I am privy to, just from my tiny little area of the world.
Canada is far more communist and complacent than the states, just so you know. The courts, armed thugs, they're all just as bad or worse than in the US.
It does happen sure, but less often than it doesn't. I know this first hand. Authority doesn't follow their own rules and when you catch them, it's super expensive to prove it, " usually". Should we just comply...No...but sometimes we need to pick our battles. I have always been a fighter, but every time the system has eaten me.
So my point was, just because something is supposed to happen the way it is written, doesn't mean it does most of the time.
When the opposite happens at a higher percentage, that becomes the reality.
You are showing the exception.
Thank you for taking the time to further the discussion.
Just to give you some background.
I was taken from my mother by the state at the age of 12. They raised me through multiple juvenile programs and I turned 18 in adult jail doing a year sentence. When I was 23, I was sentenced to 1.5-5 years for Possession of Marijuana. I know a little bit about the system. Hows it's supposed to work and how it really works.
As for Canada being more Communist. This is subjective, believe me.
The great thing about this challenge is it has got us thinking about the topic. I remembered a point that needs to be made.
In the rare occasion you are in the situation where you have nothing for the officer to create a scenario with, the outcome in this video will be a reality.
But, say you have a knife on your belt. Even though it's legal, the officer can create a suspicion or charge to arrest you or harass you by using it as a reason to search your car. This opens you up to more possible issues.
I have a roommate that was charged with carrying a concealed weapon this way.
Guess what the weapon was? It was a steak knife tucked in a picnic basket in his trunk. This happens when an officer gets a bit agitated by his authority being threatened and happens often.
Also, like you said the topic is very complicated. Many issues also depend on the city and state an encounter happens. It can hinge on whether the officer got laid( had sex) the night before or not, etc.
Wow, sounds like you've gotten the short end of the stick more often than not in the system, I've had close family members sit in jail but they've always come out winning, so maybe that's where our perspectives clash. I think we can both agree that divesting, being more sustainable, and raising awareness are great ways to better our environments (socially and otherwise). When litecoin goes to 10K I plan on building a retreat for ppl who have been run through the revolving door of our "correctional" system. There will be earthships, horses for trail riding, and tons of home grown food to heal from the toxic diets. It will be by word of mouth, referral only for people who have committed victimless crimes, and they can help out with chores if they so please!
Yeah, my life has been a bit tough, but I have learned and seen so much. I wouldn't change a thing, except the mindset of our society.
I love your retreat idea and Earthships are wonderful structures. I have been to the Earthship Biotecture Museum in Taos, NM and am a huge proponent for natural building and off grid living. I currently live 80% off grid and have had the pleasure of building with Cob.
Your aspirations are commendable and I hope you obtain your vision and are able to build your retreat.
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STOPAhh, travelling around Canada is so much fun, I know even though I haven't done it because many travellers come through Kelowna in the summer!
I am excited and intimidated for the future, and I want kids real bad so for that too. I wonder what I will get around to first haha. I gotta cultuvate my own discipline and freedom before anything awesome happens tho :P
You're in Kelowna! That makes me jealous I love BC, headed to quesnel this week and flying to cancun next Tuesday for a week away from kids and life. (I complain but really I am spoiled) Is there lots of snow for snowboarding in the mountains there? We're hoping to make a quick trip to Troll before heading back to Sk