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Le cycle continue… ou pas ?
La ville semblait enfin respirer, mais avec ce soupir de soulagement vint un détail troublant : plus personne ne savait exactement où ils avaient rangé leurs chaussettes. Les habitants, obnubilés par leurs tiroirs vides et la mystérieuse disparition de leurs bas de laine, décidèrent d’organiser une réunion d'urgence au centre communautaire.
C'est là que Gérard, l'ancien boulanger devenu paranoïaque, prit la parole :
« Mes amis, et si tout ça, c'était… à cause des chèvres astrales ? »
Un silence gênant tomba. Gérard avait l’habitude de blâmer les chèvres astrales pour tout, des pannes d’électricité aux ruptures de stock de farine. Mais cette fois, bizarrement, personne ne le contredit. Peut-être parce que dans un coin de la salle, une petite chèvre blanche, portant un monocle, mâchonnait tranquillement les restes d’une chaussette.
L’apparition d’un héros improbable
Alors que la ville sombrait dans un débat absurde sur les motivations réelles des chèvres (vengeance interdimensionnelle ? simple gourmandise ?), une figure encore plus étrange apparut.
C’était Kevin. Oui, ce Kevin. Le Kevin qui, six ans plus tôt, avait quitté la ville pour « devenir influenceur de macramé ».
Kevin débarqua vêtu d’une cape en ficelle tressée, une écharpe en laine de yack autour du cou, et déclara :
« Les chèvres ne sont qu’un symptôme. Le vrai problème, c’est le Coussin Cosmique de l’Oubli. »
Personne ne comprit. Pas même Kevin. Mais ça sonnait impressionnant, alors tout le monde hocha la tête gravement.
Une quête sans queue ni tête
Le maire, Madame Pichon, décida alors d’envoyer une expédition pour récupérer ce fameux Coussin. L’équipe fut composée des meilleurs éléments disponibles, à savoir :
Gérard, parce qu’il avait un détecteur de chaussettes bricolé à partir d’un fer à repasser.
Kevin, qui insistait pour filmer l’expédition pour ses abonnés.
La chèvre au monocle, qui, apparemment, connaissait un raccourci.
La quête fut un désastre dès le départ. Ils se perdirent dans la forêt parce que Gérard refusait de suivre une chèvre qu’il accusait d’être un espion. Kevin, lui, passa plus de temps à choisir des filtres pour ses vidéos qu’à chercher le Coussin. Et la chèvre, excédée, partit sans prévenir, laissant Gérard et Kevin débattre de la meilleure façon d’improviser un pique-nique.
L’histoire perd totalement le fil
Pendant ce temps, en ville, les choses dégénéraient. Le café abandonné, désormais surnommé "Le Trou à Galaxies", commença à servir des expressos dimensionnels. Les clients qui en buvaient disparaissaient brièvement dans un vortex avant de revenir, convaincus qu’ils étaient des crabes.
Le maire, épuisée par cette folie ambiante, proposa d’organiser un vote pour savoir si la ville devait tout simplement… ignorer ce chaos et faire comme si de rien n’était.
Le résultat fut unanime : "Oui, ignorons tout, mais seulement après le dessert."
Un dénouement qui n'en est pas un
Kevin et Gérard revinrent trois jours plus tard, sans Coussin Cosmique, mais avec un étrange objet : une pantoufle géante qui brillait dans le noir. Ils déclarèrent qu’elle était « la clef de l’harmonie intergalactique ». Personne ne les prit au sérieux, mais la pantoufle fut quand même placée sur la place centrale, où elle devint une attraction touristique majeure.
Quant à la chèvre, elle ouvrit un petit commerce de chaussettes artisanales. Son slogan : « Tricotées avec amour, ou pas. »
La ville continua à vivre dans une absurdité totale, avec des ombres dans les fenêtres, des murmures dans les rues, et des pas dans la neige qui n’étaient plus un problème… tant que les chèvres étaient contentes.
Moralité : Quand rien n’a de sens, pourquoi s’en soucier ?
The Cycle Continues… or Does It?
The town seemed to finally breathe again, but with this sigh of relief came a troubling detail: no one could remember where they had put their socks. Obsessed with their empty drawers and the mysterious disappearance of their woolly footwear, the residents decided to hold an emergency meeting at the community center.
That’s when Gérard, the former baker turned conspiracy theorist, stood up and said:
“My friends, what if all this… is because of the astral goats?”
An awkward silence fell. Gérard had a habit of blaming the astral goats for everything, from power outages to flour shortages. But this time, oddly enough, no one disagreed. Perhaps it was because, in the corner of the room, a small white goat wearing a monocle was quietly chewing on what appeared to be a sock.
The Arrival of an Unlikely Hero
As the town descended into an absurd debate about the goats’ true motives (interdimensional revenge? simple greed?), an even stranger figure appeared.
It was Kevin. Yes, that Kevin. The Kevin who, six years ago, had left town to “become a macramé influencer.”
Kevin arrived draped in a cape made of braided rope, a yak wool scarf around his neck, and declared:
“The goats are just a symptom. The real problem is the Cosmic Cushion of Forgetfulness.”
No one understood. Not even Kevin. But it sounded impressive, so everyone nodded gravely.
A Quest Without Purpose or Direction
The mayor, Mrs. Pichon, decided to send an expedition to retrieve this mysterious Cushion. The team consisted of the finest talent available:
Gérard, because he had a sock detector he’d built from an old iron.
Kevin, who insisted on filming the journey for his followers.
The monocle-wearing goat, who apparently knew a shortcut.
The quest was a disaster from the start. They got lost in the woods because Gérard refused to follow a goat he claimed was a spy. Kevin spent more time picking filters for his videos than searching for the Cushion. And the goat, fed up with the nonsense, left without warning, leaving Gérard and Kevin arguing over the best way to improvise a picnic.
The Story Completely Loses the Plot
Meanwhile, back in town, things were spiraling out of control. The abandoned café, now nicknamed "The Galaxy Hole," began serving dimensional espressos. Anyone who drank one disappeared briefly into a vortex and returned convinced they were crabs.
The mayor, exhausted by the growing madness, proposed holding a vote to decide whether the town should simply… ignore the chaos and pretend nothing was happening.
The result was unanimous: "Yes, let’s ignore everything, but only after dessert."
An Ending That’s Not Really an Ending
Kevin and Gérard returned three days later without the Cosmic Cushion but carrying a strange object: a giant glowing slipper. They claimed it was “the key to intergalactic harmony.” No one took them seriously, but the slipper was placed in the town square anyway, where it became a major tourist attraction.
As for the goat, it opened a small artisanal sock shop. Its slogan: “Knitted with love… or not.”
The town continued to exist in total absurdity, with shadows in windows, whispers in the streets, and footsteps in the snow that no one worried about anymore… as long as the goats were happy.
Moral of the story: When nothing makes sense, why bother caring?
Merci 😂
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…that’s probably how I’ll watch all documentaries from now on.
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