Nice writing! I like the original take on the description of what really are the Those!
But...what about the heavy terminator? Your Legionnaire has a sword...and has the mental battle with the That lasted the entire night? In the story beginning it was sunset, and in your ending it's the dawn.
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you only gave me 500 words to work with -- I had to scale back 200 words as it is ...you 'll have to fill in some of the blanks - plus I forgot about the Heavy Terminator he had in the beginning - I just assumed that was the name of his sword.. why can't he have a sword AND a terminator? I have to admit - this story is a little outside of my genre , I don't even know what a terminator is .... but I was wanting to flex my creative muscle since it has been a while since I've done any creative writing. As far as the all night mental battle... sure why not? ....besides - watch any action movie - a car chase that starts at night ends with the sun coming up all the time.....anyhow thanks for checking it out - let me submit chapter 2 and I will explain how he simply fell asleep on guard duty all night and had a horrible nightmare..meanwhile the castle was pillaged....
The 500 words are indeed part of the challenge, we know that being both effective and brief is a difficult alchemy.. Don't worry for the questions they're just part of the fact that we truly curate and review the contributions.. keep up the good work and practicing with us ;-)