Do You Love Your Brothers & Sisters?

A fighting between brother and sister is not a new thing because even in the Bible incidents of sibling rivalries are written. The famous one is the death of Abel in the hands of his own brother Cain. Followed by the story of Joseph who were sold by his brothers to be a slave in Egypt. The same thing were done by Abimelech, son of Jerub-Baal who killed all 70 siblings just to become a king of Shechem. Due to fight of power, Solomon ordered to assassinate his brother Adonijah. Jehoram also killed all his siblings when he became king of Judah. Even Jesus himself ran into a problem with his brothers when they don't believe in him.

Even if we turn the world upside down, we could not just throw away are relationship with our own brother and sister. Even if they are naughty, they will always be our sibling because we came from the same mother. It's hard to live in a family when siblings are in friction. A family that is united will not last very long. But we can do something to stop and eliminate tension within our family.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
When you know that your brother is not reasonable, you have to understand first. Control your emotion, learn to listen quickly, avoid speaking too much and avoid getting easily angry. Avoid acknowledging a fight to maintain peace at home. If your brother wanted to engage a fight with you, just leave him. It's so good to see a house that is free from shouting and any sort of fighting.

Master the art of negotiation.
Everything can be settled in a nice and proper conversation. For instance in watching television or in using the computer, try to establish an agreement on who is going to use first so that things will go fine. Try to consider the happiness that your parents may felt watching you and your brother in harmony.

Control your negative and aggressive impulses.
Control yourself. Keeping an anger inside your heart can affect not only the relationship with your siblings but also to other people around you. Whenever you have a fight or argument with your siblings, never let it sleep overnight. You may have personal gap, its just natural because both of you has emotions. Try to relax and do the normal things that you do together. Alleviate the disappointment in a natural way.

Know the importance of prayer.
If there are times that you could not control your anger towards your siblings or anybody at home, never forget the power of prayer. Ask God's guidance and empowerment to forgive. When you pray, consider the sake of your siblings. Try to be a mender and avoid being a breaker.

Focus on your commonalities.
The difference on attitudes and interest should not be the reason to fight each other. Find time to do things that both of you enjoys. Think of the days when you were still a kid or the time when you both of you are happy on something. It could be an avenue of good understanding with each other.

Share and cooperate.
One of the common problem with brothers is the lack of cooperation. Others preferred to help their friends instead of their own brother or sister. They felt more proud every time they have done something towards their friend or classmates while ignoring his own sibling. We should not be tensile in giving assistance to our siblings. If there's someone who should takes care of your brother and sister, that would be you.

This was originally written by Ronald Molmisa. It was initially written in Filipino language and is translated by @juvyjabian to be understood by the community.

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