The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.
It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.
My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.
I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.
I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.
Here is the twenty-second chapter from The Popular Depression.
Chapter 22
Ethan steps down the metaphoric staircase that is his life.
After his visit with Vincent, Ethan went home and did coke. The next day at school he did coke as well. For the first week it was once a day.
But then the cravings got more intense.
He had a few stressful conversations with Diane. Afterward, he felt bad about lying so he’d alter his emotions with cocaine. One agonizing Thursday he snorted coke 4 times. One day, when Ethan was doing coke at Vincent’s, Vincent said, “You’re my best customer.”
Ethan had high highs.
Ethan had low lows.
One night, while lying on his bed, he couldn’t stop thinking of Rachel. He wondered if she would still sleep with him. He wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone while on cocaine.
Then he started to think about Liberty. Then tears welled up in his eyes. Then he got mad for letting himself think about her.
“Christmas is in a few days, you must be getting excited,” Diane says to her son one night at supper.
The conversation seems forced.
This reminds Ethan that he has to get his mother and sister a present still.
“Meh, it’s just Christmas,” Ethan responds carelessly.
Cindy looks down sadly as she twirls her pasta with a fork.
Diane notices this.
“Well, I’m sure excited… Santa comes on Christmas,” Diane says, looking at Cindy, trying to change the mood in the room.
Cindy rolls her eyes at Diane’s attempt.
“Mom, I found out about Santa three years ago,” Cindy reminds.
The two have a brief laugh, but Ethan doesn’t show any amusement.
As soon as he finishes his bowl of pasta, Ethan grabs his dishes, puts them in the sink, scurries to his room, shuts his door and turns up his stereo.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Cindy uses her fork to fiddle with her pasta. Diane can sense that she misses her brother.
“It’s just a phase, sweetheart… your brother has had a rough couple of months. Give him time, he’ll come around.”
Cindy looks up at her mom and gives her a look that says, “I want to believe you.”
Diane stares at her daughter, concerned. Finally she says, “Why don’t you go ask your brother if he wants to go rent a movie? It’ll be my treat.”
Cindy considers this, and then looks up at her mother.
“Do you think he’ll actually want to?” She asks, a bit of excitement in her voice.
“A free movie? How could he resist?” Diane says, smiling at Cindy.
Cindy smiles back and then runs toward Ethan’s room. She opens the door and enthusiastically says, “Ethan… do you want to go rent a movie?”
Ethan is bent over, sniffing a line of cocaine on his bedside table.
“Cindy!” Ethan yells. “Get out of here right now! Don’t you know how to knock? Get out of my room!”
Cindy stands in the doorway of her brother’s room, terrified. Tears begin to stream out of her eyes.
“What’s all the commotion?” Diane says running toward her son’s room.
As she enters, she sees her daughter crying. Diane instantly embraces Cindy. She then looks over at Ethan. Ethan doesn't have time to hide the cocaine.
Staring at her son with eyes full of disappointment, Diane softly says, “Get out of my house.”
“But mo—”
“Now!” Diane yells, even louder than Ethan yelled at Cindy.
Ethan stares back at his mom, noticing how serious she actually is.
Diane takes Cindy down to her room and tells her to stay there. She comes back upstairs and sees Ethan packing up some of his things.
With a slightly calmer voice, Diane says, “Listen to me, Ethan, because I’m only going to say this once. I want my son back. Who you are right now? Who you have been for the last two months? This isn’t you."
"While you are gone, I am going to clean out your room and throw out any drugs I find. When you come back this evening, you won’t have any drugs on you. After today, if I ever find any drugs in this house, you won’t be living here. A lot is going to have to change, Ethan.”
Ethan doesn’t respond. He continues throwing clothes and toiletries into a duffel bag. Diane watches as her son packs up enough belongings to live off of. After his bag is full, he zips it up and walks toward the front door. Diane follows behind him.
“Ethan, I'm not asking you to move out. I want to give you a chance to fix this. Get rid of the drugs, come back home and get a good sleep, then we can discuss this in the morning when we both have clear heads.”
Ethan puts on his shoes and opens the front door.
He says nothing.
Diane watches her son walk down the driveway toward his truck. She stands at the doorway while her son backs out of the driveway and drives down the road. After several minutes, she quietly shuts the door, walks down the hallway to her bedroom and then closes the door behind her. She walks over to her radio, turns it on and increases the volume before collapsing face-first onto her bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter21
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter21
Damn, that last line got me. This is well-written, reads very easily and got an emotional reaction out of me! Nicely done. An all too familiar story for alot of people, I'm sure :-(
Thanks for the kind words (and for reading), Linda!