CURIOUS KATIE - A Fictional Tale Of A Child Learning How The World Works - Episode 9

Katie is curious, so she asks questions, and gets surprisingly honest answers from her parents.

Katie is going on a summer road trip with her mom and dad.  They’re about finished loading the car and ready to take off.

Dad:  Ok, I think that about does it! Katie, are ya excited?
Katie (grinning ear to ear):  Excited, all CAPS, locked and loaded!

Mom (giggling):  Dear, where did you pick up that line?
Katie (bemused look):  I made it up myself.

Dad:  You remember where we’re going?
Katie:  One of the biggest holes in the ground on the planet! The Grand Canyon!

Mom:  That’s right, dear!   
Dad:  Ok, everybody in.  Let’s roll!

About an hour into the trip…..

Katie:  Man, this road sure is bumpy.  Who takes care of the roads?
Mom:  Well, dear, the gang with fancy titles called government builds and maintains most of the roads.    

Katie:  Wow, they sure do a crummy job!   
Dad:  They sure do, Katie.  That’s what happens when there’s a monopoly.    

Katie:  What’s a monopoly?
Mom:  It’s when only one person or company controls a particular good or service.   

Katie:  That sounds ridiculous.  Why does that gang with fancy titles have a monopoly on roads?
Dad:  Great question, dear.  The main reason that gang has a monopoly on roads is because they use violence to stop others from competing.    

Katie (wrinkles nose):  That's silly.  More proof those people are nuts.    

Katie spots some bumper stickers as they’re passing a car.

Katie:  Hmmm, that guy has two bumper stickers.  One says “What Would Jesus Do” and the other says “U.S. ARMY”.  That’s crazy!

Mom:  Why do you say that, dear?
Katie:  Well, if Jesus was such a great person like people say he was, then I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t join a violent gang.    

Dad (laughing):  Good observation, Katie.  That poor person with the bumper stickers must be pretty confused.    
Mom:  Watch your speed, dear.  We’re coming up to a speed trap.

Dad:  Thanks for reminding me.
Katie:  A speed what?

Mom:  Trap.
Katie:  What’s a speed trap?

Mom:  Well, dear, there are certain places on roads where uniformed rights-violators called police will sit and hide in their little extortion-funded vehicles.

Katie:  What’s extortion again?
Dad:  Theft by threat of violence.    

Katie:  Oh, right.  Ok, so why do they sit there and hide?
Mom:  So they can surprise people, chase after them, and extort them easier.

Katie:  That’s not fair!   
Dad:  No, and it’s not right, either.   

20 minutes later…..

Dad:  Oh, sheesh.
Mom:  What is it, dear?
 

Dad:  Look up ahead.

There are uniformed road pirates blocking traffic and violating privacy.  Traffic slows to a crawl.

Katie:  Why are we slowing down?   
Dad:  There are some uniformed rights-violators up ahead blocking traffic and invading privacy.    

Katie:  Just floor it and go around ‘em! It’ll be fun!
Dad:  Don’t tempt me.

Mom:  Calm down, dear.    

They pull up to the checkpoint, order-follower approaches driver window.

Order-follower:  Where ya headed?
Katie (loud):  I don’t talk to strangers. 

Road pirate raises fuddled brow.

Road pirate:  Uh, well, it’s ok to talk to me.  I’m a cop.
Katie:  So? I still don’t know you.

Road pirate (deep cringing sigh, looks at traffic backing up):  Ok, move along.

They drive off.

Dad:  I’m impressed, Katie.    
Mom:  Me, too, dear.    

Katie (shrugs):  I was just honest, that’s all.

Dad:  Which is a breath of fresh air in this society, let me tell ya.  (glances at gas gauge) Oooo, better stop and top off the tank.    

A few minutes later, he pulls into a gas station.

Dad:  Aw, man, gas is so expensive here!
Katie:  Why is gas so much more expensive in some places?

Mom:  Well, dear, I don’t know all the reasons.  What I do know is that some mafias with fancy titles charge higher extortion fees on gas.

Katie:  Like California?
Mom:  Exactly.

The next day, they’re approaching an entrance to The Grand Canyon.    

Katie:  Is is free to go into the Grand Canyon?
Dad:  Don’t I wish.

Mom:  No, dear, unfortunately not.
Katie:  Why not?

Mom:  Because the government gang forces people to pay, dear.   
Katie:  Whoa, that’s not right. What a gyp!

Mom (giggling):  Correct, dear.

They pull up to the ticket window, where they’re greeted by a disinterested person in a costume.

Disinterested Person:  That’ll be 15 dollars. 

Katie:  Hey, did you build the canyon?
Disinterested Person:  Certainly not.

Katie:  Then why do we have to pay you to go in? It’s not yours.
Disinterested Person:  I just work here, kid.

Katie (sighs and shakes head):  Typical.  By the way, I’m not a baby goat, either.

Disinterested person gets confused look as dad pays the extortion fee.  They drive in and look for parking.

Dad:  Katie, I sure hope you keep your courage to tell it like it is when you get older. 

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

Top image is from pixabay