Love in the silence

I can only be silent with his decision at that time, the decision to end our relationship. I tried to defend it, but it was all in vain. Love can not be forced, why should I keep everything if he really does not love me anymore ?.
The time has come, when I have to give up, let go, go and stay away from him. Before our relationship was indeed broken, there were many misunderstandings, many of which provoked our relationship. It is unfortunate because our relationship has been approved by my family.
I looked at the sky outside that was cloudy, what the hell? Does the sky want to make fun of me? The condition of my heart is indeed not good, I prefer to be quiet, and scolded in the room vent through dumay, which I think is only dumay who can understand.
That happiness, I'm starting to lose it. My smile which is always there in the morning no longer exists. Why is time so unfair? Why does he make me lose that happiness when I have truly earned it. I began to feel unable to be myself, I ran away, I avoided and did not want to accept reality. I should have stopped dreaming, I'm not everything for him, I'm just a memory, memories that will disappear every day. I should have realized he would soon find my replacement who could make him smile every day. Later it will be quite painful if you know the reason for smiling is not because of me.
I was stunned to see the sky filled with stars, the beauty of that night invited me to keep smiling in my situation. I have begun to realize that love is not always what I want it to be, sometimes love wants something else as if it wants to be free, fly and be creative with its own imagination. Somehow when love has loved each other but instead the conditions that forbid it to unite, can even separate and destroy it as I experience now.

The silence that I felt at that time turned into a crowd that was unclear where it came from, I was reminded of the past, the happy times with him, jokes, laughter, promises, my dreams were the same as him, which I thought would come true, all of which made me hear a voice drum that does not stop accompanying my every heartbeat. I want to scream, but my voice is held back, tears immediately fall, who knows what these tears are? Are these tears of happiness because I can be separated from love that can only make me sick? Or is this a tear of regret, a regret of love because I've lost someone who can make me happy, love that has penetrated half of my life.
Love, I'm really fragile, I love him really love him. I should be able to announce to the world, "I'm happy, I'm very happy with him." what we think is good is not necessarily according to God is the best. God will not give trials beyond the limits of the ability of his people, something that begins well, eventually it will be good. Nothing in this world is perfect, yes that's life the more we look for perfection, the more we will never get it.
There are many things that I cannot say, my heart will continue to remember you, remembering memories that are still able to remember, after this I do not really know what will happen because time will continue to spin. When you feel your happiness later, I hope I can feel it too. This love, this feeling will only be saved, I will let it disappear by itself. Wouldn't that be better? Having to let you go is not as easy as saying, I will turn around so that I will not see you leave me. No matter how much tears will drip.
Although I really want your love and affection more and more to me. Even though I really want your concern for me, your concern for me. I will remain like this, remembering you my way, loving you my way, I will keep everything quietly, in silence I will slowly let you go.