It all started by accident, For the first time I saw it. My meeting with him started when I first entered high school. I still remember very well the chronology of my meeting with him, which I can't forget.
At around 07.00 am we were all gathered in the school field for the introduction to the school environment, after we were finished we were all told to look for our respective classes which at that time I did not know what class and where the class was. Immediately someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind, my reflex immediately looked back and he was a man taller than me. Then he said
"hi, do you have a friend to look for a class?" he asked.
I with a confused face "hmm nothing" I answered
Incidentally at that time my best friend Nisa couldn't go to school on the first day of school due to illness, so I couldn't help but be alone.
"Okay, let's find it together" he continued
And I smiled and said "yes"
After checking one by one the name papers pasted on the window, the boy and I unwittingly turned out to be in the same class and we got to science class 2
.
At first I was awkward but seeing his cool attitude I was sure he was a good boy.
"Hahaha, we can usually be in the same class" I said.
It's been a week since we studied, the more I come here I see that there is something strange about her attitude towards me. He always asks me anything, whether at school or at home via chat. Likewise with myself, I feel very happy when I'm with him.
Moreover, he often invites jokes together, to the canteen together even when he is not in I feel lonely. Until I tell this feeling to my best friend Nisa, almost every time I come home from school I tell it.
Three years have passed. The more I come here, a lot of my classmates and even other class kids who like to approach him. I find it very uncomfortable to see him not like seeing people we admire being approached by other people.
Over time my feelings began to change, I realized I had a lot of rivals. And from there I started to act normal even in my heart said "should I back off".
When the evening came, I immediately contacted my best friend Nisa. I contacted Nisa because there was something I wanted to tell her, at first I was afraid to disturb her time to rest but I don't feel relieved that I haven't told her because I think she is the only one who can be a good listener to me.
I took Nisa to one of our favorite hangout places, because whatever the situation we always go to that place.
When I arrived at one of the hangout spots, I ordered a vanilla latte because it was my favorite drink and Nisa ordered red velvet. While waiting for the drinks to come, let me start the story.
"Nis, I seem to want to go back."
"Huh, what's going on?" nisa still doesn't understand.
"I want to let him go"
"Seriously? You're not joking are you?"
I shook my head "I'm serious, this time I'm really serious nis".
Nisa still doesn't believe she thinks I'm joking with her, she still keeps asking.
"You really want to let him go?" Tanya nisa
I nodded with a smile "You were surprised hehe"
"Yes, obviously I was surprised, because I know how much you admired her since grade 1 high school and for three years I was an eye witness to your admiration for her, obviously I was shocked" said Nisa
Nisa continued to ask, "Then what made you suddenly want to back off? Don't tell me there's something new already?" Nisa made fun of me.
"Actually, yes, I already have a new one," I continued to tease him back
. "Keep joking," answered Nisa.
"Try please, don't joke, then I want to know the truth" continued Nisa
"Yes, I will answer seriously" I answered
OK, I will listen as best I can.
It's true that lately I've rarely talked about him, even Nisa said that she didn't have anything to say, usually every time I got home from school, something was discussed until when I told her, I forgot the time.
"You know that I rarely talk about him, right?" Nisa nodded.
There I started to think, I felt it would be impossible with him to feel unworthy. Actually, it's not easy, it's really hard for me to let him go after three years at the same school, meet every day, joke together, almost every night we don't have clear chats that initially don't bother me with assignments, even when I'm traveling with him I'm called his sister because of him. he is taller than me.
But I realized that I had a lot of rivals to get close to him, because he was a nice, cool person, it was only natural that many people liked him. Even the people who like him are almost my own friends so there's no way I can compete with my own friends who will destroy friendship just a matter of one person.
I'm sure it's all the same when in a situation like this it's not easy to just let it go. But I believe that God's soul mate will reunite.
"Then how about your feelings, are you really sincere?" asked nisa.
I was silent "This is all I can do, but somehow after I tell you I feel more relieved"
"I can only support you if this is the best thing for me to do, but if I may ask if you feel revenge or hate ?” Ask Nisa.
"In fact I thank him for teaching me a lot of things about admiring in silence, about waiting this has all been a lesson for me and now I can only be patient, praying I know enough about myself if God wants to send it at the right time."
In essence, I thank you for entrusting a feeling that can be called love, let me feel a sense of happiness that instantly turns into pain. There's nothing I can do but forgive.
thanks for reading my story