Just a whisper.
I doubt I was meant to hear it. I probably shouldn't have.
But I did.
My hand flew to my mouth, lest I let out the tiny gasp. It was enough, however. Her head snapped suddenly, like a startled raven.
"What?" Those golden eyes pierced through the darkness. All I could do was point at her, with an utter look of surprise at our ridiculous situation mattering so much to me. Did she truly hear anything?
We were supposed to be sleeping, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. I had to talk to her. I feigned a closed-eye, closed-mouth sleeping position, and then woke her up, whispering.
Her eyes widened. That must have been it.
She was the only one who could hear it. I hadn't been able to dream of it nor speak of it, but my friend had heard something. Something that must have been shared with me. I reached out my hand, wanting to feel her hand again, but she kept her eyes on me, most of her face hidden in darkness. I sat and stared at the ground, not sure what to do.
She was still looking at me, confusion clear in her eyes. I'm so glad I wasn't alone. But why couldn't she do anything? I thought we were in this together. A tear fell from my eye. She saw it and gasped. How had she not noticed?
Was that you? Did you just make a sound? I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, I had to say something. It was just so— No. say it.
Yes, I make the sound. Why are you so surprised? I wanted to scream it out, right there. Why do you not know this about me? You're the one person I know who could help.
But I couldn't.
My face started to burn. I couldn't believe this. How could someone only know about this and she does nothing about it? This was her and mine secret, by the same token. She wasn't even supposed to know.
Who could bother you anymore? Why did you ask me? Why do you have to know?
I didn't have to know. I just wanted to know. She was silent.
Why are you so silent when something is troubling you? I know you don't talk much, but the silence only seems to get worse when something is troubling you. Just speak. Please tell me. Please.
I don't know what you're saying.
Why?
Why do you have to care? You don't know who I am, what I've done. I'll never be the same. I'll be alone all of my life, even then. Just let me go. Go away.
I can see that you're troubled, but something tells me that it's just a small thing. If you aren't willing to confide in me, then who else would you turn to? There isn't anyone else, is there?
There is. But they won't care. I'll never see them again. I made sure of it. No one will.
But how can no one do anything about this?
I don't know.
Will you promise that you'll try?
It's pretty dark.
I'll be here.
What do you see?
I see...
What?
Is that what I am supposed to see?
Yes, it is.
Why?
No one sees what you are supposed to see.
That idiot.
Why?
Why what?
Why won't she just tell me?
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
How could he do that? He was supposed to know. He was supposed to help.
I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I was too afraid to give you away. I didn't want any of our other friends to know.
I wish he hadn't known that. I wish I could...I wish they had never found out. They aren't here though. I had to let them go. I couldn't let them remember. It was too painful. It's my fault.
I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
It's not your fault. I shouldn't have lied. I shouldn't have kept it from you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I don't know.
She was silent for the next three minutes.
I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. I can't do anything for you...but...we can try. We will try.
She held my hand again, clasping it. I took it gently, and closed my eyes.
We'll try.
We should try, for the sake of those who died so we could live.
What shall we try for?
I don't want to even ask that.
Listen to me.
I will.
I will be here.
Let's try again.
I'm here now.
I'll be there.
I'll be.
I'll be seeing you.
I'll be there.
I'll be seeing you.
Make me proud. I'll be rooting for you.
I'll be seeing you.
Again.
Again and again.
I'll always be there.
And I'll be seeing you.
And I'll never forget you.
And I'll be seeing you.