Shipwreck Writing Challenge Round 1 - Ferry to Paradise

in #fiction7 years ago (edited)

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Ferry to Paradise

A whistle jolted Amanda awake. Sweat soaked her body, but she didn’t feel the water pressing around her. A warm breeze was blowing through the curtains. It must have been a dream. She was still in her hotel room and the ferry trip wasn’t for a few hours.

Rayan peeked her head in the room and Amanda looked up.

“Would you like some Jasmine tea?”

“Mmmmm.” Amanda rolled over, stretching. “I just had the worst nightmare. Jasmine tea would be lovely.”

She tried to recall the details as she got out of bed, but only images remained...

Rayan slipping backwards into the water...

The sense of falling and a ferry pitched sideways in the water and sinking fast…

When she stood up, ominous clouds greeted her out the window.

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“Those don’t look good. I hope they don’t impede our adventure today!” Rayan walked up next to Amanda and wrapped her arms around her newlywed’s shoulders. “I know you’re looking forward to exploring Java.”

Amanda turned and hugged Rayan, finding her lips and kissing them softly.

“This whole week has been an adventure.”

Amanda and Rayan met less than a year before at the premier of Amanda’s latest novel in a small art gallery in San Jose. Strange Desires, Amanda’s biggest success, had outed her to the public. Rayan had approached Amanda proffering a glass of merlot. She wanted an interview for Reed Magazine and had done her research. Merlot was Amanda’s favorite.

Ten months, two weeks, and three days later they were married. The ceremony was beautiful, and their honeymoon was perfect. Borneo was the epitome of paradise.

“So what was this dream about?” Rayan’s question pulled her out of her reverie.

“I don’t want to jinx our trip today. Let’s just say I woke up thinking I was on the ferry.” She wiped her hand across her forehead.

“Bad?”

Amanda frowned.

Rayan rolled her eyes and quipped, “What? Did it sink?”

Amanda shrugged out of Rayan’s arms. She went into the bathroom to splash water on her face.

“I’m sorry. I was teasing.” Rayan came up behind Amanda and hugged her, placing her cheek against Amanda’s back. “It was just a dream.”

Amanda grabbed a towel and patted her face dry.

“It’s fine. It’ll be great fodder for my next novel. Did you say something about tea?” She turned the conversation, but her mind stuck on the picture of the ferry on its side.

“I also ordered Bubur Ayam.” The shredded chicken and fried donuts looked nothing like the crullers Amanda heard them compared to, but they were delicious. She picked one up and bit off the end. She walked back to the window and looked out.

“Those clouds don’t look very friendly.” She chewed her Babur Ayam thoughtfully, trying to dispel the foreboding of the dream.

“You’re welcome.” Rayan sat down and started eating her own breakfast. Rayan’s tastes weren’t as varied as Amanda’s. “Mmmm, these waffles are better than IHOP!”

“I’m sorry, babe. That dream threw me. I can’t stop thinking about it!” She rubbed her eyes, leaving spots floating when she opened them back up.

“What can I do to take your mind off of it?” The tone in Rayan’s voice betrayed her intentions. Amanda turned, smiling and then they both raced to the bed, jumping into each other’s arms.
•••
Amanda and Rayan stood on the pier waiting for the ferry to board. They wrapped shawls around themselves as the wind kicked up. Rain misted over them and the Senopati Nusantara rocked in the waves.

“I’m getting sea-sick just watching the boat.” Rayan wasn’t fond of sea travel.

“Why don’t we go back to the hotel. We can go explore Java another time!” Between Amanda’s dream and the current weather conditions, she wasn’t enthusiastic about getting on the ferry either.

“No, I’ll be fine. You really want to see Java, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do!” Rayan inched a little closer to Amanda. Borneo seemed like a pretty progressive place, but Amanda and Rayan were always careful about showing affection in public. Rayan grabbed Amanda’s hand and squeezed it. She leaned in close and breathed. “I love you.”

Amanda looked down and smiled, blushing slightly.

“I love you,” she whispered back.

They were finally allowed to board and went directly into the shelter of the cabin. They tried to get seats in the center of the boat, hoping the rocking wouldn’t feel so bad there. Outside, the mist turned into a steady downpour. The wind picked up, lashing the rain against the windows.

The cabin started to crowd as more and more passengers came in. Truck drivers abandoned their vehicles and came inside. No one wanted to be on deck. Plus, there was a little snack bar in the cabin that sold hot drinks and street food.

“Looks like they sell coffee. Would that settle your stomach?” The further they got away from port, the choppier the water got. Rayan held her stomach and put her head between her knees.

“Mmmmm.” Amanda couldn’t tell whether this was a groan of discomfort or affirmation, but the slight head nod indicated Rayan wanted it.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Amanda put her bag in her seat as she got up and pulled her wallet out. She didn’t think anyone would sit in her seat with Rayan looking fit to puke, but she wanted to be sure. She stumbled over legs and squeezed through the crowd of people without seats. Finally, she made it to the line for food.

When her turn came, she approached the counter and rested her hands on the surface, but before she could ask for coffee, the whole boat tilted violently, throwing her against the counter. A man behind her fell forward, knocking the wind out of her as her abdomen was crushed over the edge.

She winced, trying to catch her breath, waiting for the man to ease up or the boat to right itself. Instead, it kept tilting farther and the pressure intensified against her back.

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Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a crew member rush into the cabin, throw life jackets at the crowd and run back out. People screamed, but Amanda’s knowledge of Malay was limited. The man pushed off of her back. She screamed in pain and starting hyperventilating, but then he was gone and the pain with him. She slid down the counter, squatting to catch her breath. Behind her, the man moved to grab for a life jacket, wobbling and shoving people out of the way.

When she was free, she scanned the hysterically for Rayan. She pushed through the crowd towards the seat she had left her in, but it was empty.

The boat kept tipping and water was starting to flow into the cabin. Amanda searched the crowd for Rayan. She shouldered through people, some fighting for life jackets, others crying and hugging their loved ones. She saw an old couple sit down and wrap their arms around each other.

Amanda stumbled outside, using the trucks and vehicles as support to keep upright. She leaned against one of the few cars on the deck and it started sliding, giving into gravity.

As she approached the stern, she caught sight of Rayan’s shawl. She called out, but the words were lost in the chaos around her. Rayan was being put into a lifeboat, a dazed look in her eyes and blood running down her face. As Rayan sat down, five more people jumped into the already full rubber boat, one man’s foot went right through the bottom and water started pouring through the hole.

This seemed to jar something and Amanda could see Rayan turn frantic, looking all around her. She looked up and locked eyes with Amanda.

All at once, Amanda’s dream came back to her. She had been standing on the flat of the ferry with trucks all around her, watching Rayan fall backwards into the water. She remembered the ferry sinking, but had lost all the other details of her dream until this moment.

A horn started blowing off to Amanda’s left. Was that coming from the ferry? Or were rescue boats already there?

She had to get to Rayan, who was already starting to tilt backwards. She pushed herself off the car and took a step forward. The whole ferry shifted sideways, now perpendicular to the water.
Amanda lost her footing and fell through the air.

People and vehicles were falling all around her. She could still hear the horn blowing when she hit the water and lost consciousness.
•••
A whistle jolted Amanda awake. Sweat soaked her body, but she didn’t feel the water pressing around her. A warm breeze was blowing through the curtains. It must have been a dream. She was still in her hotel room and the ferry trip wasn’t for a few hours.

(All pictures are from pixabay.)

A special thanks to @steemfluencer for creating this awesome contest and to The Writer’s Block for editing, support, and camaraderie!!!

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That was beautiful. And, thank God I realized early enough that I wasn't going to need tissues reading this one. Your narration is awesome as usual. Excellent characterization. Keep it coming. I would keep reading you. You have a fan :)

As usual, thank you so much! This was for a contest, so wish me luck that I do well!!!

Marvelous job, @jadegreene! I love how you had them lock eyes just before the end. Well done!

Thank YOU for the great feedback! It really helped!

Wonderful story! I love the dream within a dream. Good luck!

Thank you! And thanks for reading! Gonna go check out yours now!

Impressive interpretation! I wish myself I become such a great story narrator as you are until the end of 2018. Apologies for finishing it later. I'll soon publish the results for Round 1.

No need to apologize! I was worried you didn’t see it! Looking forward to the results!!! 😬

Really good! You deserve those heavy upvotes. Circuits within stories like this are one of the things I love to find in short stories.

I've tried to do it a couple times, and I actually included something similar in my entry for the contest (I know you read it, I just found it really interesting and wanted to point it out!).

It's something I got from reading a certain author from my country's history. He played with the narration so you could never be fully sure what exactly was going on. That's what a short story is for me, in a way, and you definitely pulled it off here!

Thank you! Talk about flatter! I’m blushing all up in here!! I think we both have a good shot at doing well in the competition. Good luck! Can’t wait to read your round 2!

Good reading material and use of dream as time loop

Thank you! At first I wasn’t sure how to end it, but by the time I got to the end, it was the only way to go!

Excellent choice

It's like a tragic Ground Hog's day! Nicely done.

Thanks for reading! This contest is very interesting and every story I read so far is awesome! Don’t envy the judges..

No, we are making it hard on them! :)

AGH just had to be a dream. D:
In all seriousness, it was quite good. If I wasn't leaving for church, I'd say more about it!
Ciao!

Is it a dream? Is it a time loop? Was she dreaming and now she’s finally awake and about to get on the ill fated ferry???? I don’t know!!!!

Oh my GOSSSHHHS. Now I'm gonna second guess myself on what I read. Garbage cans.

As a follower of @followforupvotes this post has been randomly selected and upvoted! Enjoy your upvote and have a great day!

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Good writing I like it .... visit my account @jadegreene
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