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RE: A Change Gonna Come - Finish the Story Contest, WEEK 32

in #fiction6 years ago

That is lovely, the way you picked up on the title and tied it in to the end of deception. The awakening is not just the green sprout, and life--but awareness. Sometimes (in your stories) you go really dark, and that can be hard to take (for me) but here there was darkness and then light. It's nice sometimes to find redemption. Maybe not realistic, but inspiring.

I liked your story and I liked the interior monologue.

Funny, I just read about finding salt water on Mars and the likelihood of oxygen and primitive life. I thought about that as your story ended.

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Thanks agmoore. Yes I can go dark... quite often to be fair. It's part of my experience and personality. You know what they say, "write what you know".

I'm glad you saw the redemption at the end. I sit of wanted it to be an analogy for how many people live in this blinkered state of delusion, not seeing the hope that is all around them. Thanks for you comment :-)

I grew up in a quite dark universe--I think I've been rebelling against that darkness all my (very long) life. Always looking for green sprouts--think we have one in you. Keep writing. I'll keep reading:)